The Big Five-Oh

Hey WordPress Family!

I had a kind of post holiday crash. I’m really good at holding things together in the middle of chaos but as soon as there’s the tiniest slack, I crumble. So, after I made it through the holidays, both daughter’s birthdays and the IEP I was done. I was feeling completely overwhelmed. So I did what I always do. I withdrew into my books. I’ve probably read about twenty-five books in the past month. I read fast and some of them were fairly easy reads. I found a series that had me laughing. Seriously, laughing out loud. A few times I was laughing so hard I almost peed myself. Ok, TMI, I know. Thank you to those of you that reached out to me privately to check on me. Your care and concern are appreciated more than I can say!

I’d like to say I’m completely rested and ready to jump back in and go full speed. I’d really like to say that, but it would be a lie. Unplugging, not going online, did give me a break from the world but I still had to deal with the daily dramas in our house.

Anyway, I’ve missed you all and I’ll be trying to catch up with everything I’ve missed.

Now, on to the title of this post. Tomorrow is my fiftieth birthday and it’s kind of shocking to me. How can I possibly be fifty?! I’m not sad or depressed or feeling any way negative about it. It just doesn’t seem possible.

It first hit me a couple weeks ago. I got a junk mail letter with no clear marking of who it was from, but printed on the front was something about birthday savings. I figured it was coupons or something from some mailing list I hadn’t avoided. I opened it up and it was an offer to join AARP at a discounted price. AARP?! Seriously? I showed my daughter with my bottom lip out and a booboo face and told her I’m officially old now. I was laughing but I also started to tear up. The tears just made it funnier. I just couldn’t see myself as belonging in their target group. They sent me another offer yesterday. This one offered me a tote bag with membership. Wow! A tote bag…eye roll.

I guess I have this idea in my head of middle age, grandparents, A-A-R-freakin P, and being “over the hill” as something from a TV show from the 50s or 60s, maybe Aunt Bea from Andy Griffith. Maybe that’s where the disconnect comes from.

I don’t feel so much like a grandparent because, in the traditional sense, I’m not. I am actively co-parenting King Ben and both of my daughters still live with me. I’ve been actively parenting for almost thirty years. Another number that’s seems like it can’t be true.

One thing about being fifty that makes me really happy is that it’s an easy number to remember. The past few years whenever I’ve been asked my age, I’ve had to pause and think about it. Fifty won’t get lost in the Fibro Fog.

I don’t really think of myself as any age. I’m just me. I was often told when I was a child that I was/had an “old soul”. I had no idea what that meant but the adults seemed to think it was good and they let me hang around so I just went with it.

My body definitely doesn’t work as well as it used to but I’ve had fibromyalgia for over fifteen years so I don’t expect it to work.

I’ve got quite a few wrinkles on my face but they’re mostly from smiling and laughing. I’ll wear them proudly.

I’ve got some grey hair but also blonde and red and some brown too so I have no idea when the grey started coming in. My hair has always been weird, just like me. I’m thinking of adding some royal blue and purple streaks just for fun.

I’ve got friends in all different age ranges from twenties to seventies. The only time age difference really comes up is when the younger don’t have the knowledge/memories of the things that happened when they were little or before they were born.

All in all I’m pretty happy about being fifty. I’m pretty happy to have survived all the things that have happened to me. I’m still not going to join AARP though.

25 thoughts on “The Big Five-Oh

  1. Im turning 40 in 2 months and I’ve already been fending off “you’re not that old” comments for a year from all directions. I consider me making it this far a real accomplishment! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Wow, you share the same birthday with my mum but she’s 68. I’m in my 30s but for the last 12 years, whenever someone asked my age, I have to pause and think about it or I’d would just say I was born in 1982 and you can do the math. But I can tell you with ease that I’m turning 36 this year because it’s the Year of the Dog, and the dog is my Chinese zodiac sign (which repeats in a cycle of 12 years).

    What was the book(s) you read that made you laugh out loud? It might be good to carry one by my side for emergency purpose lol.

    Thanks for letting us know how you’re getting on, I’ve been thinking about you too. Happy 50th young!πŸŽ‚πŸ’—πŸ’πŸΆ πŸ±πŸ€ πŸ«πŸ»πŸ’–πŸ“š

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Isn’t weird/cool when a friend shares a birthday with someone in your family? I have friends that share King Ben’s, my older daughter and my mother’s birthdays. Right here on WP. Now add your mum and that’s four of my blog family related to my blood family. No coincidence…. (cue X-Files theme)πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      The hysterical books were the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich
      http://www.evanovich.com/all-books/
      There are over 24 books in the series but they can be read out of order.

      I missed you while I was awayπŸ’“πŸ’“

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I absolutely know how you feel. I’ve been there, done that. It’s not so bad.

    Glad to hear you’re back blogging again. Sometimes it is easier to stay in your own hula hoop and keep quiet. And wow that’s a lot of books!

    I’ve been pulling my hair out trying to help my son find a full-time job. Yet this time he’s actually giving it a good effort so I’m inspired. He can be very arrogant and rule oriented about job criteria, etc. and it can be challenging. But we are pressing forward and i’m happy to say I think we’re going to get there.
    Keep reading your books but stay in touch.
    Teri

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My 23 yr old NT, intelligent daughter has been having trouble finding a job. She finally has a part time but they’re paying cash at $10/he. She wants to quit because she’s “worth more than that”. Excuse me?! $10 is better than $0 and I can’t keep supporting her.
      Good luck to both of us, right?!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Okay. So you can relate to my frustration. Even with his college degree his opportunities are limited. I am staying hopeful that he gets a full time position so that he can eventually move out on his own. As much as I love having him around, it’s time for him to take steps to become independent.
        Like you, my husband and I can’t support him forever. I will keep you posted but meanwhile keep you and your family in my prayers. It takes a village…

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  4. Haha! I laughed at the trying to remember your age part πŸ™‚ Whenever my age comes up now I just say “Forty something” because the second number changes and I have to do math to figure out that second number…I’m just forty something until I’m not. Anyway – happy early birthday, girlfriend! Glad to hear from you! I hope you have a wonderful day and get to do something that really makes you happy πŸ™‚ And I would just take that AARP mailer and slide it in your neighbors mail, or put a return to sender on it – or even better – sternly talk to your postal worker about never putting mail of “that sort” in your box again πŸ™‚ Happy happy birthday!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for the birthday wishes! Tomorrow is just going to be a regular day, but I have plans for a couple of days in a motel at the beach in a couple months.πŸ–πŸ
      Ben likes to get mail so I’ll just put the AARP stuff in his pile with all the credit card offers😜

      Liked by 3 people

  5. Yay!! Happy early birthday to you, Cosmic Sister! πŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸ’ͺπŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸŽ‚πŸΎ. Fifty is *awesome*. And you will wear it well, with plenty of sass and class! I say a reverberating Yes to the streaks in the hair. Heck yeah! 😁😁. Don’t let the AARPansies get your down, you’re not Old, they’re just trying to milk memberships; they’d go even younger if it wouldn’t be such a horrendous PR move lol. Somehow 50 seems to be fair game, although I don’t think of 50 as old at all. Some of my best offline friends are anywhere from nearly-60 to mid-70s, and I can tell you that age is above the shoulders πŸ’ͺ🏼😘😘.

    In other news, I turned 40 six months ago and I’ve already been getting the “no way! You’re not that old” for over 15 years LOLOL. (Then again, half of those came from bar customers when I was waitressing, so make of that what you will lol πŸ˜‚) 😁🌺

    I wish you the Happiest of Birthdays, and may this kick off your best year–and decade!–yet! πŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸΎπŸ™ŒπŸ˜πŸ˜ŽπŸŽ‚πŸ€—πŸ’ͺπŸΌπŸŒ·πŸ’ŸπŸŒΊπŸ’“πŸŒŸπŸŒŸβ€οΈπŸ˜˜

    Liked by 3 people

    1. AARPansiesπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ that’s a good oneπŸ‘ Thank you for the birthday wishes Dearest Dude. I’ve gotten the “you don’t look that old” many times too. I guess it’s a compliment? I know one time someone asked if my older daughter and I were sisters. πŸ™ŠπŸ˜¬

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Lol awesome! 😁😁. Yeah, I think it’s supposed to be a compliment πŸ˜‰. That’s how I take it, anyway. If not, oh well lol πŸ˜‚. Yeah people thought my mom and I were sisters when I was 11, but by the time I was 26, they couldn’t believe I was older than 19 lol. Something definitely flipped somewhere along the line when it came to age πŸ˜‚. You’re very welcome, Dearest Dude! I hope that you did indeed have a great day, and I hope those great days keep coming to you! πŸ’“πŸ’ŸπŸ’“

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  6. Well, since tomorrow is today (if you get my meaning) let me say happy birthday πŸŽ‚ πŸ’ƒπŸ»πŸ’πŸŽ‰
    And no, you’re not that old (haha!), you’re only just middle aged. I’m middle aged too, and I like it, it gives you a certain gravitas if you want it ( doesn’t mean you can’t be silly if you want to). I have quite a lot of grey, and I’ve just dyed my hair dark purple. It’s a lot of fun looking different.
    All the best 🍾πŸ’ͺπŸ»πŸ‘πŸ€—

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!
      Middle aged? I thought I hit that at 40. I’m not sure I want to live to 100. 😬😜
      I’m going to have to get one of my daughters to help with my hair since my rotator cuff is still messed up from an over-enthusiastic fist pump (being silly).
      I had homemade fish & chips for lunch and now I’m relaxing with a book. And Ben hasn’t thrown anything at me all day. So far it’s been a good dayπŸ‘πŸ’Œ

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Happy Birthday for tomorrow. I understand you completely – I’m fifty next year. When I was 47, I had a whole year of thinking I was 48; it was pleasant when my birthday came round and I didn’t gain a year! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A lot of people have told me they kind of lose count in their forties. I’m glad I’m not the only one. Maybe I’ll just be fifty for the next ten years then I’ll be sixty. Easier to remember πŸ‘πŸ˜‚πŸ’Œ

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  8. So how did your birthday go? I hope you were treated extra special. Also wondering how Ben is doing at his new school? Are things working out as you had hoped? It’s been some time since we had to go through IEP’s and 504 plans, but in the end these kids make their way in the world. My son was thrilled to be paid for a singing gig at a church in San Francisco last weekend. Whatever floats your boat, right? Happy Tuesday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The birthday was mellow and relatively quiet. YAY! My younger daughter’s partner cooked fish & chips for my lunch and I burned my tongueπŸ˜‚ it was hot but so good I didn’t want to wait for it to cool down to eat it. My older daughter had the day off so no Ben duty. I stayed in bed with a book most of the dayπŸ“–πŸ‘
      Ben is still in *holding* at his school. We have to wait until there is a space for him at one of the non-public schools. The past week or so he’s been doing a lot better. By the time they’ve found a place for him he’ll probably be doing great where he’s at. Murphy’s LawπŸ˜• I honestly think the weather is a huge factor. High pressure just agitates him more and we’ve had a lot of that here.
      Congrats to your son! I know he loves to sing and it’s always great when you can get paid to do what you love!
      πŸ’–πŸŒΉ

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ohh good for you for getting a β€œme” day. Doesn’t happen often enough I’m sure.
        Glad to hear Ben is doing well. I think public school has more resources than private, but I can understand you wanting to keep him safe and contained.
        Just felt like staying in touch so thanks for the update. It’s nice to know people like you are around whenever I need to vent.
        Cheers to better weather 🌈

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Ben will still be a student of our school district. The district will pay his tuition at whatever school. They have to since they can’t give him all the support he needs and federal law says he’s entitled to an education.
          Vent away my friend. I’m a lady of many hats. I’m disabled, I’m parenting a small fry who’s autistic and I have two adult daughters living with me. I can empathize on many levels.πŸŒ»πŸ’Œ

          Liked by 1 person

  9. You are so young at heart, clearly from your posts. You have also achieved so much, you have two daughters! Family is a blessing. Thank you so much for sharing this. I would love to know which books you read that were so good. Love to find new material! 😊😊😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was reading Janet Evanovich’s “Stephanie Plum” series. There are over twenty books in the series but the can be read individually or out of order. Really hysterical stuff.
      Thank you for reading and commenting🌻

      Like

      1. It was my pleasure. You have a lovely way if tellibg your story. I will have to get that book. I live a good laugh! 😁😁😁

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