So Far, So Good

~ King Ben's Grandma

Ben started at his new school yesterday. We had been talking about it over the weekend and reminding him of when we went to visit. We could tell he was nervous but he did really well waiting for the bus.

When it was ten minutes past his new pick-up time, we called transportation to make sure they weren’t lost. They were. I guess things are still kind of scattered as far as his new transportation goes because not only was the driver lost, they picked him up in a van instead of a school bus. It was a district van with two aides plus the driver, all wearing ID, but still not what we expected. The driver told us she’s a substitute so we don’t even know if he’s going to be in the van or a bus after they get it settled.

Anyway, he was excited to ride in the van, especially once he saw the male aide. Ben doesn’t have much contact with adult males so it’s always a novelty to him. So, off he went, and our worrying began. We just hoped his transition would be as easy as possible.

He got home from school and his aide said he’d had kind of a rough day but not too bad. When we asked Ben if he liked his new school he said “Yeah” so that’s good.

Today I let his mama get him ready on her own, keeping my ears perked for any trouble. She got him ready and out to the van on her own, he didn’t fight about going back to the new school.

We had an appointment with the psychiatrist that works at the school today at noon. She will be taking over his medications. She brought up ABA, and we explained again that we aren’t interested in it. They never like to hear that. She wanted to bring him in towards the end of the appointment, but we explained that if he saw us, he’d want to leave with us and we wanted him to ride the bus(van) to and from school, and the problems we’d had with him refusing to ride the bus home a few months ago. His teacher sat in on the meeting too so we got to tell her more about Ben.

He came home in the van. The aide said he’d had a better day today. It’s only been two days, but I’m feeling cautiously optimistic about this school. Ben isn’t showing any signs of distress. We’ll see how things are going in four weeks when we meet with the psychiatrist again.

22 thoughts on “So Far, So Good”

  1. Sounds like he’s settling in. Good news all around.
    Keep advocating.
    Your grandson will benefit.

    My son is moving out this week. It’s taking him forever to get organized and is currently researching the best company to buy internet from. All good skills to learn.
    I’m still advocating too. When i can’t sleep at night, i get on Twitter. There i learn all sorts of things about #autismatwork programs thru SAP, Ford, Microsoft and 3 more who are trying to get autistic people jobs. I’m intrigued and have connected w helpful individuals who are sending me emails .
    Good stuff!

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    1. Oh Teri, that is SO exciting!! Wow! Yay Andrew!!!
      I still dream of a day when my daughters will move away.😲 I’m sure Ben’s mama will be with me for many years to come, they’re a package deal and Ben needs me, but I still have hopes for my 23yr old. She lost her job and her partner still hasn’t found one. 😟
      Ah well, this too shall pass.
      I’m really excited for you and your husband!

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      1. Thanks. It’s the end of a looong journey. He is super excited. I saw the apt today cause we went food shopping together. I taught him a few things since he has only shopped for himself a few times. He’s been back home already for breakfast and now home again to use the internet since his hasn’t been installed yet.
        It’s a genuinely hopeful time.
        I do hope your 23 yr old finds work and she finds her way into independent living. Yet, so many of my friends have their college grad grown adults living w them. Not uncommon since it’s so expensive.
        Thanks for the out pour of love and support. Means a lot

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      1. It’s on the “caning spectrum”, so to speak, yes. By the way, my 6-year-old daughter is quite traity, it seems to me. She definitely has some kind of meltdowns quite frequently. She gets abruptly furious over the smallest disruptions, and it really pushes my buttons and those of her mother as well, and it’s been quite challenging to resist the urge to try and control her by feeling angry. But especially recently — as I become more and more convinced that she’s an apple that didn’t fall far from my own tree — I find it harder to get angry at her, and have taken to remaining very calm while she has a tantrum, trying to understand her, setting clear boundaries, but also allowing her to just be who she is, rage and all. I really feel like it’s a much better way to handle these situations. She still has her tantrums, and I occasionally have my own in response, but more and more I think we’re relating to each other much better. In any case, it makes me feel like I’m a better father.

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        1. Yeah, losing your cool never feels good. Especially when you’re dealing with a little one. We are only human though. Setting boundaries and sticking to them and having consistent consequences is the best way to go. Not the easiest. Not even close but definitely the best. Have you had her evaluated? Autism presents differently in girls a lot of times.

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  3. I am so hopeful for Ben and for you! And THRILLED he said he liked it – that is so awesome!!! Having everything right there in one location too – that has to be huge. I loved it when all of Declan’s services were right in the classroom. Now everyone is separate and he has to change rooms to go to them. I don’t know how much they talk and what they say – bc unless you SEE some of the problems, you may not know they are there or how to address them. So happy it has gone well so far and so hopeful for the future! He likes it! Yay!!!!

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    1. He likes it! Hey Mikey!😂 Do you remember that old commercial for Life cereal?
      Yeah, I think this school is going to be good. It’s too bad that he’s out of the NT population school-wise but he wasn’t learning anything and wasn’t really making friends so…. He’s still getting all his services and he’s still officially a student of our district so all the relationships we’ve made with the Special Education Department are still there. Team Ben is just bigger now.

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  4. Pardon my ignorance, but what is ABA?

    Nonetheless, public school is such a toxic environment for so many of us. I know it was for me. I would have benefitted being placed elsewhere. Alas, what can you do? No offense to my own parents, but they were truly ignorant of my plight (I wasn’t diagnosed until I was a teenager). I imagine I’d have had a better time being taken out of that situation.

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    1. ABA is Applied Behavior Analysis. There are tons of articles pro & con. Most autistic people say it traumatized them. It’s like dog training… Do this task, get a gummy bear.. over & over & over.
      This school goes to age 22. He’ll get as much education as he can and some vocational training later. He’s always going to need some support. Maybe with extra now, he won’t need as much as he gets older.

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  6. Yay!! I’m so glad the new chapter of y’all’s journey got off to a smooth start emotionally, especially after that transportation hiccup! Nothing like something like that to rattle you, right? 😳😉. I, too, love the cautiously optimistic phrase; it’s one I use often, and I think it’s an accurate descriptor, especially in situations like these! 😁💖

    Here’s to a wonderful new chapter 👏🏼👍🏼🍻💓🍀😎💪🏼❣🌷💥☄🍾🏆🎖🙏👍

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    1. Why did it take me so long to respond to your comment?? Cuz WP ate my response or I dreamed that I responded and didn’t actually…😴😮😏
      The rest of the week went really well for King Ben at his new school! They are still having trouble keeping him inside the classroom so they set up a work area outside the door😆
      He asks every morning while we’re waiting for the van. I’m sorta worried now that he’ll be upset if they come in a school bus😧😁💌❤🌻💖💞🌹🌸🌷🌼🍀🍻

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      1. Oh goodness, Dearest Dude Ever, if I had even a fraction of a cent for every time that’s happened to me! You’re so not alone 😘. WP always eats my comments and replies, too! 🤔😠😜😂. And sometimes I dream I’ve responded, too! When actually I haven’t 😂. Either way, no worries, darlin! 😍. I’m so stoked for all y’all 🎉🎊. That school sounds like a godsend 👏🏼👏🏼. I hope they keep the van! Change sucks 😉💖💖

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    1. Thanks! He’s still doing really well. In fact, the day after I wrote this post he got to ride on a pony at school. I guess they also have aquatic stuff too. This seems like where he has needed to be all along.💌💌

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