I have an update on how things are going with my Biological Father. He’s not my Dad, that’s a title that was earned by my stepfather. In case you missed the first part of this story, it’s here I decided to contact him via email, and we’ve stayed in sporadic contact.
So, Saturday evening, normal stuff was happening in my house. King Ben and his mama were in the living room. She was reading, the TV had the current movie of choice playing on repeat, Ben was watching the movie, watching his tablet, lining up his chalk in patterns…doing Ben stuff. Then, there’s a knock on the front door. No one comes to the front door. With the exception of a food delivery person, no one we want to see comes to the front door. People we want to see come in through the back gate and back door. Also, they call first.
Already everybody is freaking out a little bit. The dog is barking his head off, Ben’s mama goes to get the key (our front door has a keyed deadbolt to keep Ben from escaping and running blindly across five lanes of a busy street. Yes, he’s done that before) Ben is climbing the back of the couch to look out the window and I happened to be in the bathroom. Finally, the door is opened to reveal a man who is a complete stranger. Both the dog and Ben are trying to scoot out the door while older daughter is trying to find out what this stranger wants. I’m still in the bathroom, hiding at this point.
So, who was he? What did he want? He introduced himself as Pastor so-and-so (daughter didn’t catch the name, trying to keep Ben and Zeus inside) from whatever church and the reason he was here. I’m hiding in the bathroom so I can’t hear any of this. Daughter sends him on his way, relocks the door and puts the key back in the hiding place.
I came out of the bathroom wondering who had been at the door. Daughter tells me that, without asking, without warning, Bio-Father had sent this man to my house to check on me… annnnnd my head explodes! Okay, my head didn’t really explode, but I was seriously pissed off! I’ve known that Bio-Father was very religious but since we only exchange emails once or twice a month, I’ve steered away from the subject. For him to randomly send someone to my house was way out of line. I fired off an email right away telling him that I have my own spiritual beliefs and I’m not interested in talking to someone from a church and especially a random drop in. I’m still angry about it.
My brother had given him my phone number, even though I asked him not to, so I’ve got it set to go straight to voicemail. I gave him my address because he wanted to send Ben a birthday present. I figured he’s in another state, let him mail Ben a gift, no harm. He wanted to come visit me in July when he will be here in California, I told him no.
I’m trying to be nice, but I may have to cut him off. He’s the one who wanted contact. I’ve explained that we are basically strangers, that my life is busy and complicated and I’d prefer to stick with emails. I’ve been honest and I’ve been clear.
So, anyway, that’s the update. I guess we’ll see if he respects my boundaries or if he makes me sever all contact.