That totally awesome dude over at A Guy Called Bloke put out a post the other day with some jokes and some questions. He has a wicked funny sense of humor and if you don’t already follow him, I suggest you do so. Like, right now.

Here are all the jokes and questions. I’ll be adding my own observations here and there…

What Makes Us, Us?

Are eyebrows considered facial hair or just surplus eye hair?

Facial hair or sometimes makeup pencil or even tattoos

If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

That’s a good enough phrase…theyre definitely guilty of something.

She sells sea shells by the sea shore, has anyone asked why yet?

No, but I did ask how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

I didn’t get an answer.

If glassblowers inhale do they get a pane in the stomach?

Not if they inhale through their nose.

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs.

The eggs represent fertility and spring. No one wants to see the Bunny’s fertility ideas, and chickens aren’t cute or cuddly

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Duh! The Swine Flu.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

The paint is easier to check. They don’t necessarily believe there are four billion stars.

Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

It’s the vacuum’s job. Besides, what else is one to do with a thread?

If you met a vampire, would you let it bite you for eternal life or would you shove a stake in its heart?

Ummmm, neither. I’d like to have a chat about everything they’ve seen. Assuming, of course, they’ve been around for a good number of years.

Are you more of a hunter or a gatherer?

I’m more of a gatherer, but I will hunt.

Have you ever tried to contact a spirit with an Ouija Board?

I played around with Ouija Boards with my school friends but someone always cheated.

I have been contacted by unknown spirits on my own. I usually hear, rather than see, them.

If you were a box of cereal, what would you be and why?

Fruit Loops, because I’m colorful, fun, and loopy.

Have you ever seen a ghost, a spaceship, or anything else you couldn’t rationally explain?

The only spaceship I’ve seen belongs to the Unarius people. I’ve experienced lots of other paranormal stuff.

As to things that can’t be rationally explained…look at the world news. You’ll find irrational, unexplainable things happening Every. Single. Day.

Would you rather fight 1 elephant sized duck or a 100 duck sized elephants?

An elephant sized duck would be horrifying. Can you imagine the poop from 100 duck sized elephants? I choose to run away. I’m a lover, not a fighter.

If l gave you a 1000 dollars, pounds or a currency of your choice how would you double it in 24 hours?

Quickly give it to someone who knows how to do these things. Money and I have a magnetically oppositional relationship. I try to hold onto it, but it always goes away.

Ok, you have woken up groggy eyed and worse for wear and find a giraffe in your kitchen, what are you going to do?

Ask if (s)he has made the coffee yet, of course.

Answers please on the flipside of the flip side of the reverse side of a doubled sided coin …

I don’t have any coins. I’ve already explained this.

Here’s a bonus question from me:

Why is six afraid of seven?