The Rhythm Of The Words And Music Of My Life

~ King Ben's Grandma

I was having a chat with Ursula of An Upturned Soul about people talking to or at us and their words. The actual words, the feelings behind the words, and the sounds and rhythm their speech makes. She did another of her fantastic mind-bendy, Thought Journey posts on the subject and at the end, asks some questions.

I had made a comment about being partially deaf from my eardrum being scarred by Scarlet Fever I had as a baby. As a result, I don’t hear or understand a lot of spoken words. I had also made a comment about using my ability as an Empath (I capitalize it because I don’t mean the regular empathy that humans feel. I am a person who actually feels other people’s emotions. I absorb them. So grouchy, angry people make me jumpy, nervous and achey. Sad people make me tired, lethargic, heavy, numb. Happy people give me energy and clarity…etc) to feel the vibe of a speaker and trusting that feeling more than what the person is saying.

She replied with:

“A while ago you mentioned viewing your fibromyalgia as a gift in a way which made you focus on fewer things and become happier with yourself. Partial deafness can be viewed similarly, allowing you to focus on more than words – words can be very distracting and aren’t always necessary. Sometimes people use words to hide what they really mean – not hearing the words clearly can be revealing of what is being hidden by the words.”

It’s true. Whether I would have developed my Empathic skills had I not been partially deaf, I don’t know. I do know that I trust what I feel. People very often don’t express their “truth” in the words they use. I’m not a better listener, because of my deafness, but I’m much better at understanding what is being communicated.

So, on to the questions…

What is your personal you-being-you soundtrack?

This is really difficult. Mostly it’s kinda

But there are times it’s

(R.I.P. Chester)

And of course

Add in songs playing on the radio from early 1968 (my birth) through now.

What’s your favourite song – does it remind you of you? Do you listen to it when you forget yourself?

I really can’t choose a favorite song. I like so many genres from so many eras and different songs express different moods.

I can change how I’m feeling with music. Singing along with angry music will release the anger. If I want to relax and just groove, I listen to “70s Easy Listening”. Dancing and being silly belongs primarily to the 80s.

A lot of songs are tied to memories. I can invoke those memories by listening to the songs.

What’s your favourite sound?

This is the only one I could answer without thinking about it… The beach by the ocean. The sound of the waves crashing, the sea birds, the water slapping against the pier (or bluffs if I’m at the cliffs). I’ve listened to recordings of beach or ocean sounds and I like those, but it’s not as good as being there.

Has your tune changed as you’ve changed? Have your favourite songs and sounds changed as you have?

When I was younger, from childhood up until my mid-twenties, I was very insecure. I mostly felt unworthy, less-than, never quite good enough. So desperate to feel loved. This song feels that way to me. Bouncy and happy on the surface, but desperately repeating “Love me”

Then events occurred in my life where I was basically thrown into therapy whether I wanted it or not. I made the decision to take advantage of it and began a lot of really hard work. By the time I was thirty, my mental wounds were healed or healing and I was growing stronger and more confident. Then began my journey through chronic pain, my eventual total disability with fibromyalgia and the destruction of my marriage and family.

There was more growth from all those events and now I’m very happy and comfortable with who I am.

What sound do you hear when you think of yourself?

Something silly and bouncy but with a steady beat. Maybe laughter and heartbeat?

What does happiness sound like to you? What does sadness sound like to you? What does anger sound like to you?

Happiness is a light, bouncy sound… A flute. A fiddle. Tambourine. Trumpet. Piano. Acoustic guitar. Native American Drum.

Sadness is piercing and heavy… Bag pipes! Bass. Violin. Bass drum. Saxophone. Bells. Organ.

Anger is loud, sharp, heavy, chaotic and discordant… Instruments falling over. Electric guitar. Cymbals. A violin can be angry. Drums. Car horns. Static. Feedback.

What song do you sing when you speak?

Maybe…

You’d have to ask what other people hear when I speak. I guess it’s all subjective.

What music do you make when you write?

I write the same way I speak. When I’m typing I’m basically talking to everyone. I guess it depends on the subject I’m writing about.

What is your favourite type of music – does your favourite type of person sound like your favourite music? Does your favourite activity sound like your favourite music?

I really don’t have a favorite. I guess I tend to listen to more rock than anything else, but I like classical, jazz, hip hop/rap, funk, big band, folk, punk, dance music… I like all kinds of people too, so I guess you could say they go together.

What about your least favourite type of music – does your least favourite type of person sound like your least favourite type of music? Does your least favourite activity sound like your least favourite music?

My least favorite music is Country and even some of the “rock”ish country is okay. The whiney, twangy stuff is grating to me. Like whiney people. Or like passive-aggressive people, happy music with sob-story lyrics. My least favorite activities are cleaning various things, doing laundry…there’s probably a country song about it.

Who do you love to listen to?

As in who has a pleasing speaking voice? Hmmmm… Anthony Hopkins, William Hurt (he did an audiobook and it was fantastic), Morgan Freeman, Audrey Hepburn… I’m sure there are more.

And I love to listen to Ben when he’s making his “happy noises”!

What does the ‘Like’ button sound like to you when you press it and when others press it on your social media posts, tweets, etc? Is it a Ka-ching, a slot machine win, a yeah-baby, a cheer, the sound of approval, a gold star being stuck on, one hand clapping, hollow-emptiness, silence after the storm, the sound of people-pleasing, Kilroy Was Here, popcorn…?

When I press “Like” it’s a murmur of greeting and thanks. (I only “like” something if I’ve read it.) If I have thoughts about what I’ve read, I leave comments.

When I get a “Like”…hmmm… I guess it depends on who it is. Sometimes it’s wind, like someone waving hello, barely there air movement. Sometimes it’s a cheer. Sometimes it’s hollow emptiness. Sometimes it’s the rustle of clothing and a soft murmur as if I’m receiving a hug.

~

~

Well, I finally finished. These are questions that I could think about every day and come up with different answers or no answers at all.

Tell me in the comments about your thoughts, your favorite songs or sounds. What different emotions sound like to you?

~

(featured image from pixabay)

26 thoughts on “The Rhythm Of The Words And Music Of My Life”

  1. I relate to some of the Empath experience, in that angry, sad, and stressed people upset me greatly. If I can’t help them, then I must escape them. I can’t simply shrug off their vibe and enjoy myself. But I don’t feel the same about happy, upbeat people. I may or may not absorb their mood, depending on my own. If I’ve had a bad day, being around a chipper person might simply irritate me. So, I’m only a partial Empath, I guess. The dark part!

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    1. It sounds like you’re sensitive to others moods. The dark stuff can be so intense it’s almost like you can see it. I think most people feel it to some degree. Yes, run away from toxic people. Some people don’t even want help.

      I’m not always able to absorb the happy unless I’m in a good or neutral mood. I try to though, because I’d rather be in a good mood. I can’t stand myself when I’m angry, irritated or frustrated.

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  2. Magnificent! Love the music this post makes, Angie 😀

    I’m so happy you said that as an Empath you pick up on people’s upbeat vibes too! That’s kind of a litmus test for me when people say they’re an Empath.

    I also write how I speak, the words flow freely and spontaneously that way, and you can hear when you hit something that bothers you or something that inspires you because the sound changes, so it’s a great way to hear yourself. It’s a great way to get to know someone when they do it too, the words have a vibrancy on the page.

    I love the Meredith Brooks Bitch song, such a wonderful Yay kind of sound. Your have a very YAY soundtrack 😀

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    1. I’m glad you liked it! Those questions seem so simple but they really aren’t. I spent more time on this one post than probably all my other posts this year combined. I had a great time doing it though!

      The whole Empath thing took a long time for me to feel comfortable talking about it. I didn’t want to be seen as a full of shite bragger. The thing I loved about the article I linked in the Empath post was the part about just knowing things. I had a total “YES!” moment when I read that part.

      A “YAY soundtrack”? I guess I do. I’m a pretty upbeat person. I honestly can’t stand to be around myself when I’m grumpy and irritable. The moods happen and I acknowledge them, but I work on changing them rather than wallowing (I love that word…wallowing) in the yuck. Gotta keep dancing 💃🎶💌

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  3. What a terrific post Angie – yes l have always thought you were most assuredly an ’empath’ you certainly are able to tune in to certain emotions with a grace and an ease many simply do not possess, and yet l look at the responders here, and in many ways l see three various empaths of varying degrees You, Paula and Ursula, have always intrigued me with the abilities to see things others do not.

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  4. Me too – in that I absorb the feelings of those around me. And I agree there is so much more to communication than just words. I am not just listening to someone, I’m watching them. Bodies show so much more than words. It was neat to read feelings connected with sound and music. I liked reading this one and it made me think of songs or sounds that affect me. Good music too!

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    1. The questions seem so simple and easy but, boy oh boy, the wheels started turning when I tried to answer them. I’d love to see your responses if you want to do a post. Even a few of the questions…

      I’m not surprised that you’re affected by people’s emotions. It was you that gave me information on Highly Sensitive People. That book was such an “AH-HA!” for me. HSPs and Empaths are very closely related.

      Liked by 1 person

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    1. Thanks Beckie!😍 Those questions seem so simple but, to me at least, they were difficult to answer. You should give them a go! I’d love to see your answers.
      It’s funny, I feel like I’m an open book…everything right there, out on display. Then I do a post like this or the Turbulent Teens stories and I surprise myself. I never think of myself as particularly deep, or layered. And all the stuff I’ve been through is just “normal” for me. Sharing myself is teaching me too. It’s really kinda fun.

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      1. That was one of the hardest things when I first started blogging, I was expsoing the real me, no holds bar. But, in the last almost 2 of the 4 years that I’ve been blogging, I do feel more comfortable, because of the friendships made here.
        I love when you share your stires, because I feel as if were just hanging out shooting the shit over an iced coffee. LOL! You’re a very comfortable person to engage with.
        The “Stuff” you think is “Normal” for you, is rather intriguing to others, myself included.
        We have all been through “Stuff” and some of it is rough, other’s are lighthearted. But one thing is for certain… None of us have a “Normal” anything. LOL! 😘

        Liked by 1 person

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    1. The call of a mourning dove IS very pretty. The ravens around here tend to drown them out.
      I’m sure it’s no fun thinking about… Big Hugs!💌

      Thanks for stopping by. I was just thinking about you last night. Didn’t that happen last time too?🤔 I keep telling everyone that I’m psycho…or is it psychic? One of those…maybe both😂

      Like

      Reply
  8. Pingback: Sunshine Blogger Award Nominations # 12 and 13 – Keep it alive

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