Usually when I feel the need to do a free flowing, not think, just type post, it’s a rant. No ranting today.

Not that I dont have things that are irritating. Puh-leeeez! Just last night Ben & Zeus, the bouncing duo, arrived at 11:00pm just as I was ready to call it a night. I gathered them and marched them back to Ben’s room. Ten minutes later Ben was out and I made my exit.

Back in bed, feeling that dozy in between awesomeness, my phone rings. 11:45pm it has to be family. Yep, younger daughter mumbling something that ends with “Can I stay there tonight?” So, I’m awake now. I didn’t get the whole story, but its something with her partner’s parents. Whatever, “Uber over, of course you can stay” I say and go turn on the porch light. Twenty minutes later, a text that she’s going to stay there with her partner’s mother. I’m curious what the whole drama llama ding dong is about, but I’m tired. I still haven’t gotten the story, but I’m not buggin’. She’s almost twenty-five, it’s her business.

I’m in the bathroom at 1:15am when the Bouncing Duo arrive again. I march them back to Ben’s room again but he’s awake. I mean, he’s AWAKE! Aw, dang! I dozed on his bed off and on, while he played and surfed his tablet until 4:45am when I relented and we moved the party to the living room. Coffee…

Here’s the thing, I wasnt pleased with my night, but it didn’t spin me either. I’ve noticed that I’m kinda in a coasting, cruising groove. It’s weird and its awesome.

I’m not ecstatically happy. I’m not fourteen kinds of freakin the fuck out. I’m… average. Average is good.

(The pic is what Ben does with sidewalk chalk. ONLY the Crayola square kind.)

37 thoughts on “Average

  1. When I turn Ben’s creation to the side I can’t decide if I see a colorful Eiffel Tower or a lovely stack of books waiting to be read. Happy for your cruising groove. 🎶 Good is good! 😊✨

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I always wonder what HE sees when he’s making the patterns. Maybe just a pleasing pattern? It takes him a good 30-45 minutes to arrange the pieces.
      I’m glad I noticed average. I think we mostly remember extremes, but average/good is definitely good!!😎🌼

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I imagine he’s very focused when he’s arranging. It Would be interesting to know what he sees in it. You’re right about extremes and the way we note them while there’s a lot of Good/average living going in between them! 😊🌷

        Liked by 1 person

    1. My daughters may be adults but they’re still my babies. Younger is living away from home for the first time and with the PTSD we all have from the last years with my ex, I expect occasional issues.
      Ben has had sleep issues his whole life. I dont know if it’s the autism, the ADHD or just Ben. We were up several hours again last night/this morning.
      The chalk patterns are definitely an autistic thing. I must have 20 or 30 pictures, all different, of chalk arrangements. They ARE pretty cool.🌺

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Tough night! Average, though – average is good! Ten years ago I would have said that night was far from average. But when I am stuck with one, I get you – it’s just another bad sleep night – oh well! I like Ben’s chalk display too 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He makes “happy noises” when he’s doing his chalk thing. The patterns are always interesting.
      The sleep thing… he was up at 12:30am again. I told him we had to stay in his room. I fell asleep around 2 and jolted awake a 4:30. He went back to sleep sometime in there. I count that as a win👍
      If he HAS to be awake in the night, I want him to stay in his room. If I have to be there too, shrug at least it’s a double bed, big enough for the 3 of us. Oh yes, Zeus must be on the bed. King Ben commands it.😂💌🌺

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww…🥰 thank you! Ben’s sleep problems are part of my “normal”. We learn to adapt or break. There were times I wished I could break, it seemed easier than continuing the struggle. Turns out I dont break easily. Just call me Gumby😂

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        1. Still dont know.😂 Her partner’s parents are messed up people from what I understand. I think the dad was causing drama for the mom and my daughter was freaked the dad would come over and cause drama in person. After the crap her dad pulled, she’s easily triggered. She has anxiety and PTSD. I think she freaked, called me, calmed down and decided to stay.
          I’ll let you know if my guess is right when I find out. I’m sure she’ll be calling to borrow my car soon😂😂

          Liked by 1 person

        2. Glad to see you are finding a new normal with all the shenanigans and going’s on.
          I’m super impressed with the chalk art. Never see anything like it. I would put a logo on bottom with your name or his name so no one uses it. It’s extraordinary and i would in courage him to make more especially if he makes his happy sounds when entranced in this artsy behavior.
          We had a win on Friday when my son Andrew had a phone conference call interview with Jose Velasco with sAP and Autism at Work.
          He was invited to Florida in a couple of weeks to attend a summit that offers employers to hire autistic individuals.
          Andrew is hoping to go and do some networking. Praise the Lord.
          And to think this all happened because of my 2AM Twitter rants, researching and looking for answers to Andrews in employment. Geeze Louise. It never ends being a mom/grandma.
          In any case, i hope this comment finds you rested and well fed.
          Nighty night

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Awesome news about Andrew!! Very exciting. No, for those of us committed to doing a good job of parenting, it doesnt end. Especially when special needs are involved.
            Ben is still getting me up at 2-3 am…I just march him back to his room. Maybe in a couple months or so it will be habit for him to play in his room when he wakes up. I dont think he’s ever going to have “normal” sleep. Whatever, I need more than 3 hours here, 2 hours there, 45 minutes of napping…
            Average is awesome!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Goodness gracious. Make sure to tell his doctor. That’s a rough day at school when you don’t have a good nights rest.
              My niece has issues and doesn’t sleep. She’s 16. She fell asleep while getting her hair done yesterday 😴

              Liked by 1 person

    1. I liked it when I read it the first time.
      I’ve still been commenting on your posts. I guess they still aren’t showing up? Not even in your WordPress comments spam folder? So bizarre! I’ve had WP and Akismet work on the problem twice. Ugh!!

      Yes, average is good. It’s good to notice the average because it happens more than the extremes I think.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. The pattern is calming – it’s a sequence of numbers if you look closely. It’s a bit like the counting trick some meditation teachers train people in, Ben’s doing it with his mind – nicely done . l do something similiar – l recognise the patterning. Interesting.

    By the way l have tagged you in Scene Cuts a new game l am piloting – check it out 🙂


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Huh. I never counted the pieces, I was looking at the colors. Interesting. Thanks for pointing that out. He’s in a zone when he’s doing it. Making “happy noises”, holding the pieces up and squinching his eyes to look at them… he’s a trip.

      New game? Cool. I’ll check it out👍

      Liked by 1 person

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