(Originally published back in June of 2016. Rather than whine about how life has been tossing bananas peels in my path the past week or so, I thought I’d dust off an oldie that I like. It only got a few views when my blog was still young and inexperienced, I wanted to show it some more love 😘)
I’m a superhero. I want a sexy costume with a cape and some kick-ass boots. I need a cool name too. My super power is being every thing to everybody.
When I was a kid my single mom & her various boyfriends made me responsible for my brother who is three years younger. I was seven & taking care of my four year old brother. I also did laundry & washed dishes starting at around seven.
Then later in high school I got a full time job so I could have a car and after 18 pay to continue having a roof over my head. After high school I got a second job and moved out.
Then I met the ex. I was 18, he was 27 and twice divorced. But, since I was a codependent mess, I was thrilled to be wanted by this man. We were together 22 years and had 2 daughters. He was an abusive alcoholic. There were stretches of sobriety. Once for 8 years so it wasn’t always bad. But I took care of him along with the kids, plus worked full time and did activism too. PTA, political groups, native rights (the ex is native), grassroots organizations against police brutality… All that stuff.
Then came pain, numbness and weakness. Work comp injury from repetitive stress. Surgeries, fighting insurance companies, pain and medication issues finally all ending in total disability.
I’m trying to keep this brief…
Anyway, the ex couldn’t handle me not taking care of everything as well as I used to and dealt with his issues by drinking. Instant rage monster. It took years before it could be safely ended. Eventually he was on a Greyhound Bus back to Indiana & I was being evicted for non payment. Older daughter was pregnant & younger daughter had dropped out of middle school. I was a disabled mess with no income & no car. I had my SSDI hearing, Older Daughter had The King and Younger Daughter found a school she could handle. We all dealt with our PTSD as best we could.
Now, Younger Daughter is in college to get her teaching degree, Older Daughter is a CNA and we are trying to get The King the help he needs. Autism & ADHD make life challenging.
So, to sum it all up, I’ve been a super sister, a super spouse, a super mother, a super citizen, a super patient, a super survivor, a super grandma and a super advocate. I’m a superhero and I want my cape!
(featured image is Ben’s Pink Kitty and three of his favorite Hello Kitty friends)