If you missed the start of this series, you can find it here. A lot of things will be the same or very similar.
After Ben and Daughter were in bed last night, I walked over to the corner market. Daughter wanted “red powerade and sunflower seeds”, so I got them. And a couple other things that called out to me.
It was such a pretty night I decided to stroll around the block, in my pajamas bottoms and hoodie. I took a picture of the sun setting through my wild Pecan tree before going to the market and beyond
This next one is looking west toward Fletcher Hills. My city is in a valley, hills every direction
Looking south from the alley/street between my house and the corner market. More hills
The clouds had all moved off to the east. It’s because we’re in for another few days of summer weather… I’m still wishing for proper Spring weather.
I took my sleeping pill at 10:15, hoping for an early night. Unfortunately, I was still awake as Tuesday became Wednesday. I’m not sure when I finally fell asleep but it was after 12:30.
The Bounce was at 3:30 and it was a Full Bounce! All those special little extras that mean Ben is very, very much awake and ready to start his day. Elbows and knees and bedquakes, oh my! He kept trying to convince me to move into the living room but I stayed put. At 5:30 I was clinging to the last 6 inches of the bed and Ben was trying to push me over the edge, figuratively and literally. I gave up and got up. He had a bunch of his Hello Kitty friends on the bed against the pillows on his side. They were very cute tucked in under the blankets, but no wonder Ben wouldn’t skootch over. I went to hide in the bathroom.
Ben and Zeus were waiting in the living room for me, so I went and got my stuff from my room and went back to the living room, uncovering and lighting a sleeping Sven on the way.
Daughter texted and arrived at the regular time. Work was busy and and short staffed as usual. She chatted with her trainee about Younger Daughter and Ben and about how Older never paid attention to all of Younger’s friends that hung out at our house. They didn’t have a lot of time to talk. They had over 30 patients to care for and the trainee is brand new.
Ben had finally relaxed a little as his meds took effect. Daughter asked him if he wanted to go to her room. He jumped up and ran in there. I stayed in the living room for a while longer, waiting to see if he was coming back. I finally got everything picked up, got my bed made and my room settled when Ben came running in. I said hello and asked him what he needed. “Gramma come living room!” so frustrating… sigh!
We got settled in the living. Ben had me do the arts and craft thing, tape a few things and open a bunch of juices. I kept nodding off and jolting myself awake.
Around 10:00 Ben got up to do his chalk thing. He had been using his Angry Face and pointing his finger at me and jabbering something. He’d been kind of edgy all morning really. I was picking up the mess he’d left on the couch and I noticed Sven was still sitting in front of his bowl. The arugula from yesterday was all dried out. I grabbed his bowl, dumped it, cleaned it and got him new food.
He doesn’t want me to watch him eat. It’s probably because I laugh at him every time he misses.
10:30 meds were given to Ben with a new box of chalk. He was doing his chalk thing anyway, he’d been edgy and using his Angry Face and Angry Voice, I figured why wait until he worked himself up? The next few days are supposed to get very warm. It was cloudy most of yesterday, that means a rising barometer chased the clouds away. High pressure makes Ben grumpy, it makes me grumpy and that’s not a good combo. Plus, I was still having trouble staying awake.
At noon Ben’s med doctor called Daughter for a phone consult. Daughter told her about Ben’s two recent naps after taking his adderall in the morning. The doctor said she had NEVER heard of someone sleeping after taking adderall. Duh! It’s speed. It just proves his ADHD diagnosis in my mind. If adderall focuses him and calms his speeding mind and body enough that he can relax and fall asleep, it’s helping him. The doctor is adding a half dose at noon. He’s only taking 5mg in the morning so his total will be 7.5mg per day. Such a difference between his reaction to adderall from his reaction to ritalin. Ritalin made him more aggressive. I hate that he has to take meds at all, but I hate seeing him pacing and just in constant motion, unable to settle down even more. The doctor’s nurse will call back with the next appointment time and date.
Daughter went back to bed to sleep some more. Ben went back to his chalk. I stayed on the couch fighting the drowzies and Zeus snored next to me. I admit it… I elbowed him a couple times.
At 2:00 Daughter got up again and this time she stayed up and took over Living Room Duty. I gathered my stuff and headed to my room, followed by Zeus and Ben. Dang it! I had wanted to lay down in my room for hours and the one time I was putting my hoodie in my room, Ben jumped up and demanded “Gramma come living room!” I told him I was just putting my hoodie away but he stood there watching and waiting for me to come back.
He followed me because he saw a toy gun on YouTube that he HAD to have. I searched Amazon and found something acceptable to him and tried to place the order. Amazon wont delivery a toy gun to my state. I tried a couple other smaller shops… same deal. I guess if I want a toy gun for Ben (I really don’t. He already has tons of them), I’m going to have to go to an actual store or ask someone else to buy it and mail it. I don’t know how long this rule/law? has been in place because I don’t think I’ve ever tried to order a toy gun for him. I kinda lied to him. I told him I ordered it. I did place the order, it was refused. Hopefully he’ll forget about it. Hopefully it was just a passing thing. He gets that way sometimes.
Anyway, he went back to his chalk, which I had cleaned up before going to my room. He was singing Let’s Go Fly A Kite so I relaxed. A little bit. I even dozed a little, until I felt Ben trying to grab my phone.
He spent the afternoon in hyperactive overdrive. Pacing from room to room stomping with his hard soled shoes. Shooting his gun at the dog, at the glass light fixtures, at everything except the targets I suggested to him. Needing help, needing tape, needing SOMETHING…
At the end of a long, warm day, when I only got three hours of sleep is not the time I want to be dealing with a spazzed out little Mr Bootyhead. But I don’t get to make all the rules. I only get to make choices about how I will act in any given situation. Today, I mostly chose to keep my cool and plod on.
Ben doesn’t act the way he does out of malice. He might be testing boundaries, but don’t we all? He isn’t purposefully trying to drive me batshit crazy, he’s just being a kid. A bored kid. A bored autistic kid. A bored autistic kid with ADHD set on overdrive. I can do this a little while longer.
He got into Daughters backpack and colored his face with red and black dry-erase markers. That should make bath time fun. He’s sitting down and eating right now. I better hit publish before it gets much later.
We’re all having a difficult time to some degree. Even if it’s just the crap all over the media getting on our nerves. Be kind to yourselves. Be gentle with yourselves. And then do the same with all living creatures around you.
Come on by tomorrow, it will be another warm one. There’s bound to be all kinds of mischief going on. Things can get so ridiculous that laughter is the only way to deal with it.
Peaceful Redwoods for a calm evening… Hugs!