If you missed the start of this series, you can find it here. A lot of things will be the same or very similar.
Ben was awake until sometime after 9:30 last night. That was the last time I heard him making noise. He’d gotten up a few times, FULLY DRESSED starting at 8:30, and when he was finally quiet, I was afraid to go check.
Ben being awake (and interrupting my only alone time) threw me off. I didn’t go to sleep until sometime after midnight, thankfully without chocolate in my mouth.
The Bounce was around 4:45. Not sure exactly, but we were in the living room by 5:00…4:59 to be exact. Sleeping more than 4 or 5 hours is overrated anyway, right? Plenty of time to sleep when I’m dead, right? Sigh… coffee!
Meds at 6:30 and just to entertain myself, I took the blanket off Sven’s terrarium with a flourish. Ta Da! A Grumpy Dragon in his Pouting Corner. He went to his food bowl and found wilted arugula (duh, it’s from yesterday) and 4 big blueberries. He sat there giving me a LOOK. It’s not my fault he pouted instead of eating yesterday.
Daughter called at 7:05 to let me know she was finishing her charting. Three people called out last night, so they were super short staffed, again! She only has 15 more shifts at that job, not that she’s counting.
Sven had eaten a couple blueberries and moved to the Judgey Corner. Apparently he was very unhappy with my service. Everyone is a critic. Sheesh!
Daughter got home around 7:45 and we each gave our reports. She started toward her room and asked Ben if he was coming. He followed, then Diesel Cat followed, yelling at her. When Diesel figured out there was no canned food or treats on offer, he went back to laying in the “jail” (I can’t wait to move that out of the house). Zeus and I went to my room for Horizontal Time.
At 9:30, just as I was on the border between doze and sleep, Ben yelled “Gramma come living room!” from my doorway. Dang! The clouds had rolled in and the temperature was cool and perfect for a lazy, drifting snooze.
Ben spent the next 90 minutes grunting, yowling and scripting as he played with the dog, his Barber Chairs or paced. He didn’t seem to know what to do with himself. The noises were not his “happy noises”. They were actually really irritating, but I figured they were a way for him to vent a little steam or whatever, so I didn’t say anything. Not that he would’ve listened anyway.
Around 11:00 his 10:30 meds were helping him relax. He sat on the couch with my tablet (his was charging, it didn’t get a full charge last night because he was using it until at least 9:30) and ate some blue ramen.
I put Sven in the shower around 11:00 also. I was tired of him giving me stink-eye from his Judgey Corner. Sven sure does like the shower.
(Mandatory Shower and Nom Noms Images.)
I didn’t realize Sven had been in the shower for nearly an hour until the alarm went off for Ben’s noon Adderall. I doped Ben’s face, then got Sven out. No grasshopper until he poops. If I could make it to the dang pet store before they close, I could get him some fat, juicy hornworms, but they close at 6:00 and it’s difficult to run errands while Ben is awake.
I guess Daughter and I better start trying to take him out again. We used to take him with us and get two carts and put him, with phone, earbuds, sunglasses and food, in one cart (in the big part…obviously) and our stuff in the other. Then, as with the stroller, he got too big. He’s nearly five feet tall and weighs over 100 pounds. Too big! It’s just a scary thought, taking him out in public. We don’t have any way to control him. And with masks being required, he won’t leave one on. Ugh!!
Ben was edgy and bored and restless again today. I’d blame lack of sleep, or the high pressure… both are true, but it feels like something else. I don’t know what exactly, I wish I did, so I could work with it or fix it or break it or DO something. The whole thing makes me anxious, which I have to push away or bury so I can project calm and peace. No wonder I’m so tired.
Daughter was planning on getting up at 2:00, but she was awakened a little early. I had gone into the bathroom and Ben decided he needed to kick the front door open. Thank goodness he didn’t get the lock jiggled loose before I threw open the bathroom door and Daughter came running out. I had been in the bathroom less than 5 minutes, why decide to start beating on the door? Confusing, frustrating and scary.
She got her stuff and took over Living Room Duty. Ben stayed with her about 10 minutes then came into my room. Throwing himself purposely onto Zeus, then onto me. He gets this way and he does everything he knows he’s not supposed to. It’s like he wants to make us mad. He started telling me to get dressed and go to the store for a Sweeney Todd Barber Chair toy again. I didn’t even respond. It would just be wasting my breath.
The rest of the afternoon was touch and go. I filled a squirt gun with water and acted indignant every time he shot me. That was around 3:15. I put him in the bathtub at 4:15 knowing that the water would soothe him, plus I’m sure he felt sweaty and gross under all those clothes (shirt, vest, jacket, tie, 2nd suit jacket, underwear, PJ pants, socks, shoes). He played in the water for about a half hour. Now it’s just dinner, meds and bedtime. Fingers crossed that he goes to sleep easier than last night.
That’s today’s adventures. Kind of a mixed bag. I was expecting there to be trouble, so I was prepared when he got twitchy and edgy. I kept pouring the Zen vibe into the room, into him. I watched him struggle to control himself. He did a pretty good job. It’s difficult when inside you’re seething, but you’re trying to keep it together. I’ve had plenty of experience in that area. The last few years of my marriage especially.
Oh! Perfect song! This is my anthem or Theme Song or whatever for that time.
Come hang out with us tomorrow. Adventures, troubles, celebrations… they’re all more fun when shared. Thank you for sharing mine! I sincerely appreciate and care about all of you. See ya before dawn, I’ll have the coffee ready.