If you missed the start of this series, you can find it here. A lot of things will be the same or very similar.
After Ben and Daughter went to bed last night, I changed into public clothes, donned my mask and put on shoes… all to go to the grocery store. I was surprised at how not-busy it was, very happily surprised! If it weren’t for my foggy glasses and the sweat accumulating on my face under the mask, I would’ve almost enjoyed my little errand. They even had all the stuff on my list, plus stuff like Blue Ramen that wasn’t on the list, but a regular buy. I got five packages.
I got home with my stuff and had to make two trips to get it inside, those boxes of juice are heavy! Changed back into my holey, stained, comfy clothes, I put the stuff away and nuked something to eat. I never did eat it. I didn’t feel like eating by the time I was cooled down and relaxed enough. I ate four peanut butter cookies from the store bakery instead. Hey! Peanut butter is healthy, right?! I fell asleep reading around midnight, and managed NOT to konk myself in the face with my tablet. YAY!
The wakeup started with a bedquake and ear sniffing. Zeus was faster than Ben this morning or Ben ran to the bathroom first. Ben wasn’t far behind, the first bedquake hadn’t receded when the Bounce and a second bedquake occurred. Ben got under the blankets and cuddled for a few minutes. So much nicer than a 1:30 Bounce or a Door-Kicking Summons!
Ben jumped up and ran off, to the bathroom I assumed. Yeah, assume… we all know what happens when we assume. BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Ben was kicking the dad-blasted door again. I told him that if he wanted me to come to the living room, all he had to do was ask. He said “Gramma come living room, please.” Well, yeah… I was standing right there. I told him to go sit down, I’d get his tablet and my stuff and be right back. We were settled on the couch by 5:20… all three of us, me on the chaise, Ben leaning against the back of the couch and my shoulder to the left and Zeus laying on the end of the chaise under my knees. They both have to be next to me.
At 6:30 I gave Ben his meds and uncovered Sven. After I turned his lights on, I grabbed his plate to give him fresh food, since he seems to head straight for the food in the morning.
After I took the pictures of him eating, he gave me such a look and ran to the Judgey Corner.
I sat back down. I didn’t want Mr Grumpy Face to get all black bearded. Daughter texted about that time that she was on her way home. She arrived at the usual time, a little after 7:00.
Zeus went bonkers when she came in. He was trying so hard to get her attention, wagging his tail, barking and following her. She ignored it at first because he knows he’s supposed to sit and wait, then she will greet him. Finally the barking was too much (this new barking all the time ain’t cool man, just sayin…) and she yelled “SIT!” at him. He did. Then she held her hand out, palm down to pet him and told him “Wait“. That took a couple tries, but he finally waited (two or three seconds was all that was required) and he got his greeting.
I asked about her shift. She had a new hire with her last night. New hire, but not a new nurse, so the lady was helping with patient care by the last round. Daughter said it was a good night. She got herself some food and asked Ben if he was coming to her room. In answer, he grabbed his chalk and walked down the hall. YAY!
Zeus and I headed to my room and I was Horizontal by 7:45. Nice! I started to doze but woke myself up. As nice as that drifty, almost sleep feeling is, I knew that Ben would come get me sooner rather than later, and if I dozed I’d by logey (made up word meaning groggy, heavy, thick, uncoordinated, spaced out) and that would just be badsauce all the way around. I was correct, Ben came to my door and said… well, you know what he said, at 9:15. Back to the couch I went.
Around 10:00 Ben started to get agitated. By 10:20 I was getting his meds ready early, things were going downhill fast. It’s like he was looking for something to get angry about or something to make me angry about. Doing all the things he knows he’s not supposed to do. I went ahead and turned the AC on. It’s only supposed to get up to 81 today, but our house gets stuffy. The big front window is nailed closed except about five or six inches to keep Ben from climbing out of it. The other window has the AC unit in it. I put the piece of cardboard in to block the space and Ben punched it out. I put it back in and he punched it back out. I turned the air off. No sense running it with the rest of the window open.
He went to the front window and opened it, almost stepping on his tablet because he wasn’t paying attention. Then he stuck his head out the window and started saying that dreaded phrase… “You have to get dressed. You have to go to the store.” He wasn’t screaming it… yet. I asked him if we could turn the air on, if that would be okay? He said yes. I asked if he would leave the cardboard alone and not punch it. He said yes, so I switched it back on. The other window was still open, but one thing at a time.
He started to calm down around 11:00. He mostly hung out on the couch with me but he’d get up and pace or stand in front of the bathroom mirror rocking foot to foot. I tried to project calm and relaxation toward him. It was difficult because I was either picking up his restlessness or it was fear and anxiety of my own, triggered by the “go to the store” phrase. One of the difficulties of being an Empath is figuring out if what I’m feeling is mine or someone else’s. Sometimes it’s easy to tell, like when I feel irritated, PMS-y for no reason, especially since I don’t get the M anymore.
Ben’s half Adderall was given on time at noon and we continued to mostly hang out on the couch. I managed to close the window while he was in the bathroom and he switched the DVD from Big Eyes to Spirited Away (on repeat, of course). YAY!
Daughter took over living room duty a little after 2:00. I told her that except for a few minor issues around 10:00, Ben had been doing great. He was drumming, being loud, pacing, watching his tablet… basically doing Ben stuff. I got another cup of coffee and went to get Horizontal. Of course as soon as I laid down, Zeus needed to go out. I’d let him out twice in the past half hour and now he needs to go again? Okay… I opened the door and went back to my bed and laid down, knowing the Big Dummy wouldn’t go out until he was sure I’d be where he left me. Five minutes later I had to go close the door after he came back in. Pain in the posterior…
Surprisingly, Ben stayed with Daughter so I had some uninterrupted chill time while I was Horizontal. I wasn’t alone, Zeus was guarding me, making sure I was safe, making sure I was gonna stay put and not try to go somewhere without him. If I had known Ben was gonna stay in the living room area I would’ve surrendered to the doze that kept trying to pull me under.
Younger Daughter texted a picture to me. She wrote “My Little Friend” in the text.
Look at that tiny little Praying Mantis. I never thought I’d consider one “cute“, but that one is. And her flower is beautiful.
I think I’m going to end for the day. It’s been a pretty calm day here at Casa Cuckoo. There was a bit of worry around 10:00 but things have been groovy since then. Daughter will be cooking some steak for Ben pretty soon, then bath and bed.
Tonight’s exit music is chill to go with the mood of day’s end
I’m still having fun doing this series and everyone seems to like hanging out with us, so I’m going to continue. I hope you’ll continue to stop by and stay for a while. There’s no dress code, there’s no judgement (except from Sven) and the rules are few and easy, mostly Be Kind and Have Fun. See ya tomorrow before sunrise, coffee will be hot.