If you missed the start of this series, you can find it here. A lot of things will be the same or very similar.
I konked out without even taking my sleeping pill last night. I didn’t eat my cookie either. Shocking! I woke up around 4:00 in that where am I?, who am I? kind of mini-panic. I figured out what year it was and settled back down, after making sure I wasn’t in the comments section of the blog post I’d been reading when the switch flipped. Whew! Maybe this would be a good time to apologize in advance for any stranger than usual comments you might receive from me in the late hours of PDT.
I did doze until just before 5:00 when I got bedquaked and ear-sniffed. I said Good Morning to Zeus and pushed his head away, looking for Ben. He was standing next to the bed drinking the juice I leave there every night. I told him to get under the blankets with me, he did. We cuddled for about five minutes (an eternity in Ben Time) and then he wanted my tablet. I handed it over. Then he jumped up and ran to the bathroom. To avoid another possible door kicking incident, I got up. I went to get his tablet and earbuds, but his tablet had been unplugged all night. I plugged it in and took his earbuds to him.
We settled on the couch for a little while but he was restless. He got up to go to the bathroom a bunch of times, and wandered down to his room a few, then back to the couch. At 6:30 I gave him his meds in his room and went to uncover Sven and give him fresh food. Sven didn’t look pleased to greet the morning
His beard was looking kinda dark. I moved the lights closer to him so he could warm up, and was about to check on Ben (he was entirely too quiet), when he came running out of his room in a long sleeve flannel PJ top and tie. “I need help!” I was thinking he definitely needed help, but asked what he wanted. I already knew… the shirt was unbuttoned and the tie wasn’t knotted, but I wanted him to tell me. I tried to talk him out of the wardrobe decision as I was buttoning the shirt and knotting the tie, knowing it was wasted breath.
Daughter texted that she was leaving work in a few and I let her know Ben was getting fully dressed. We commiserated.
A little after 7:00 Ben came out to the living room to put his shoes on, everything else…the vest, the pants, the jacket and the socks, was already in place. He said “Surprise!” I told him he was silly and asked if he’d been eating Silly Stew. He went to look at himself in the bathroom mirror, then went outside with his plastic Sweeney Todd razor. Oh-kaaaay… Welcome to Casa Cuckoo!
Daughter got home around 7:20 and after a repeat of yesterday with Zeus, (the barking has got to stop!) she sat down and started telling me about work. She asked where Ben was. I told her he was outside wrecking havoc. She kinda shrugged and continued her report. He came in a couple minutes later and paced around. She said Good Morning to him and asked if he was gonna go to her room with her. He said yes and grabbed the tablet. Diesel Cat wandered in about that time. All the boys coming to greet Daughter! Even Sven moved to the Judgey Corner
I gathered my stuff, topped up my coffee and went to my room, followed by Zeus. Ben, Daughter and Diesel Cat went to Daughter’s room and poor Sven was left all alone. Poor Sven…
He wasn’t alone for long. By 8:30 I was back on the couch and Ben was pacing. I asked him if he had Ants In His Pants, and told him he should go outside and sweep if he couldn’t be still. He sat for a minute then started pacing again. He sat down and dumped his chalk and was able to settle there.
He was still doing the chalk thang at 10:30 when it was time to dope his face. Sven was still staring at me from the Judgey Corner and Zeus was passed out on the couch next to me. I would’ve liked to have a little snooze myself. It was cloudy and cool, perfect napping weather.
Around 11:00 Ben decided he was done with the chalk for now and went rummaging in the fridge for chocolate. He wanted a “little Hershey bar” and apparently all he could find were the King Size ones (it’s what they had at the Corner Market). I got up and searched all the super secret hiding spots and found two more King Size and one regular size, the “little” one. He was very happy. I took one of the King Size out of the fridge to soften a little. He won’t eat chocolate if it’s melty so we keep them in the fridge, but the King Size get too hard and difficult to eat. Ah, the problems of chocolate… real crises there.
At noon he took his half Adderall and I noticed we have about a week’s worth left. Since the prescriptions have to be mailed (major controlled substance) Daughter better call today. He continued to watch his tablet and occasionally did a little “drumming” on the couch.
Sven was still in the Judgey Corner doing a whole lot of nothing. I talked to him for a minute and slid the screen partly open on top of his terrarium so I could “pet” him. I just use one finger on top of his head or down his back. Or sometimes along his jaw. Anyway, he hadn’t eaten anything and I even put a grasshopper down today, so I turned him to face his food. He didn’t move. I guess the overcast day is making him sluggish. I hope he’s not gonna do a brumation. He’s done it in summer before, but it always makes me worry.
Daughter got up and took over living room duty around 2:15. I was SO ready to lay down. My back was really starting to hurt from being on the couch. I went to my room with Zeus. I was ready for a break from Ben too. That lasted about 15 minutes. He wandered into my room and wanted me to write “John” and then cut it out. Then he wandered back in a couple minutes later and wanted me to write “Joe”. He wasn’t able to explain, he just pointed with a pen at a piece of paper and kept saying “like this”. I get SO frustrated sometimes.
It’s hard because when he’s having the most trouble communicating is when he’s edgiest or generally uncomfortable or whatever. It’s when his fuse is the shortest. So I get frustrated exactly when I can’t show frustration. If I express the emotion it will trigger him and upset him. The last thing I want is for him to start telling me to go to the store, which is what would happen if I let my frustration show. Gah! A big whiner is what I am.
At 3:00 Ben brought his most recent bag of words into my room and spread them out on the bed. He was doing whatever it is that he does with all the words. He was also singing the original Oompa Loompa song. Whew! I hadn’t blown it with my whiney frustration!
Writing about frustration brings us to our next incident. Ben went into the living room, so I was taking his tablet to him. He met me in the middle of the room, I hadn’t realized he’d been pacing. I handed the tablet to him and I thought he had it, but it dropped. It hit the tile face down, because of course it did. Luckily his tablet was in the foam protector thingy, the screen was fine. Not so fine was the broken off earbuds. The jack snapped and we don’t have tweezers thin enough to pull it out. I saw a tutorial on YouTube but it requires super glue, which we also don’t have. And 24 hours of drying time. Ugh! I told Ben several times what happened, but who knows if he was listening or if he understood. I stressed earbuds broken and no sound on the tablet. He didn’t seem to care. I’m just worried about when he does care.
I have a tablet that he can use. It doesn’t have the cool foam thingy but it works. I guess I’m just feeling the anxiety of holding all the stress and frustration in. Plus, I’m just plain tired. Everything isn’t roses and sunshine all the time. My Zen can get bruised and battered too. It’s just the tail end of a harder than usual day for me. Ben has been really good. The pacing was making me a little crazy. The constant interruptions were annoying. Looking at him in all those clothes, with chalk all over his hands and face made me feel uncomfortable, even if he didn’t seem to be. Maybe I’m picking up some PMS irritability from Daughter. It’s happened many times before. Maybe there’s no reason and I’m just bitchy today. I could delete this whole block, but I’m gonna leave it…
I’m also going to end today’s post. It’s about that time anyway. I had never heard tonight’s exit song before this morning. I’d never heard of the band. A friend shared a link and now I’m sharing it with you.
What do you think? I really like it and the singer is entertaining. Thanks for stopping by and thanks for putting up with my bad attitude and complaining. Come by tomorrow, who knows what kind of day we’ll have… it’s rarely the same two days in a row.