If you missed the start of this series, you can find it here. A lot of things will be the same or very similar.
We got Ben to bed with only minor issues. Then it was sunset time.
I was ready to go to bed at 10pm, but I heard Ben laughing in his room. Then he was playing loudly. I took my pill around 10:45 because he had quieted down. Then at 11:30 he got up to use the bathroom. I told him it wasn’t morning, he needed to sleep. I put him back in bed and turned the AC unit in his window down to 65°. He had three blankets he must have, in a certain order, over him. I thought if it was cooler in his room that might help. He was still making noise at midnight but I was on my way out…
He got me up at 6:30. I went to the living room as commanded and was getting his meds ready when Daughter came down the hall. She was indignant, like how dare I get up and get his meds ready. It wasn’t my fault she didn’t hear him get up or yell for me to get up. She nudged me out of the way and took over. Okay, sure… whatever. I got a cup of coffee and was met by Zeus and Ben, already in my room.
Ben was having issues with his ADHD again and also with his body. He was throwing himself onto my bed, then rolling off onto the floor. I asked him if he wanted me to “squish” him, he said no.
Weight on his body sometimes helps, but he doesnt like the weighted blanket we got him, so sometimes I’ll lay across him or on top of him, bracing myself so it’s not my full weight, and “squish” him.
He spent a lot of the morning going back and forth between my room and the living room, where Daughter was. He did a lot of throwing himself around and a lot of scripting with “angry words”.
Daughter went to her room around 12:45. I expected Ben to immediately ask (tell) me to come to the living room. I think he waited five minutes.
He was calmer in the living room. He sat next to me and watched his tablet. Zeus got jealous of Ben being so close, so he had to get up on the end of the chaise, under my legs. He and Zeus both moved after a while, it gets too hot, especially for me, with us all crammed together.
When the 2:30 med alarm went off I was not surprised. Ben had been doing his “angry words” for a few minutes. (I don’t even know what the words are, something he mispronounces and adds sounds to. They are two “words” he says back and forth like an argument. Like you’d hear “Yes, you did” and “No, I didn’t” getting louder and more vehemently venomous) I gave him his meds and asked him not to do the “angry words”. He said okay and started up again. I told him if he kept saying the words, I was going to go to my room, they hurt my ears. He stopped, then started whispering, then getting louder. I started to get up, so he stopped again. I told him the words hurt my ears, I could go to my room, or he could go to his room, but I didn’t want to hear the words. He was okay for about fifteen seconds and he started again. I got up and told him I was going, to let me know when he was done and I’d come back. I told him I wasn’t upset or angry at him, that if he needed to say the angry words it was okay, but I didn’t want to hear them. They hurt my ears. He said “All done.” and was able to stop.
When he starts with those words, back and forth, he ramps himself up. It starts with the words and then goes to physical acts, like stabbing boxes. I understand he needs to let off steam sometimes but I think he needs to learn that pressure releases can be uncomfortable to other people. I really don’t like the tension of him ramping up like that. He gets louder and louder, and his tone gets mean… it grates on my nerves.
Daughter came back out around 3:15 to take over Living Room Duty. Ben was back and forth between the living room and my room. ADHD overdrive as usual in the late afternoon/early evening. He went outside for a while and I thought that was good until he started trying to bust up the cinderblocks of the wall on the property line. The past few days he just doesn’t know what to do with himself. We give him options but he wants to do things he’s not supposed to. I think that’s typical of ALL kids.
We’re coming into countdown time. Daughter is getting ready to cook and Ben’s first med will be around 5:30-5:45. She doesn’t have work tonight, she goes back tomorrow (Friday) night. Her BFF, who is also Ben’s Godmother is coming over to hang out this evening. Her other friend is coming over for a bit too.
I better hit publish and prepare myself for the onslaught. It gets really noisy with all three of them chattering and Ben is already hyper.
Thank you, as always for stopping by. Tomorrow will be a busy day with Daughter going back to work and laundry (you know you wanna be here for laundry day) and the full report on Daughter’s friends, and the sunset of course. We’ll also have our regular Adventures or whatever life throws at us. So come on back tomorrow, coffee will be waiting…
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HUGS!
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King Ben's Grandma 
Hope they have fun and you and Ben get some sleep 😴✨. I’ll be by in the morning for coffee 🤗❤️☕️
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I’ll have a little cup waiting for you😉☕🤗🥰🦋🌻
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Whew, that sounds like Ben was having a tough day. Thankfully he was able to keep the hard parts together. I was worried he was going to have a meltdown but I am glad, for everyone’s sake, he was able to tamper his quelling emotions. That must be so tough – being the “second in command” but yet, really, the one Ben goes to, in general. It is so hard to take a break! Here is hoping you all have a great day tomorrow! Fingers crossed!
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Ben has been really having a tough time the past couple days. He’s in a good enough mood, or it seems like it but then he starts ramping himself up.
You learn that certain behaviors and words are big red flags signaling trouble and I’ve kinda been expecting a meltdown. There’s no reason, everything has been mellow, even the weather is cooler…🤷🏼♀️ Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, they change everything 🙄🤦♀️
I have to be in and out of the house tomorrow but I got new stuff to put in the stash so hopefully I’ll be okay😘
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You do know how to manage his moods. I had an idea that you wait for sunset before going to sleep and barely sleep till sunrise. You could see the sunrise instead of sunset because you’re already awake at that time. And go to bed early to get some sleep. I hope this made some sense.
Hugs and all the best for today and tomorrow
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It absolutely made sense, and I used to go walking at sunrise because I was awake anyway. This is before Daughter started working, when Ben was little.
Sunrise from inside the house or even the yard would be difficult because of buildings and stuff in the way. Thank you, though. It was a good idea!👍 🤗🥰
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Take care. Hope the bounce is not before you’re ready to get up.
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I get the angry moods too. I was extra nice to the cats today bc I’ve been yelling at them so much. And they were better! Then my computer got all stupid… grrrr. Hope you guys have a good night! 😴
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The night went pretty well, even with Daughter’s friends over. Ben was FULLY DRESSED when he got me up before 6am😫… hopefully the day will be okay🤞
I wonder if the cats sabotaged your computer before you realized your grumps?? Cats are sneaky little stinkers😼😂💖
I w
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It’s so tough for Ben. It really is. It must feel like trying to walk a never ending tightrope. Just can’t drop your concentration at any stage. But you find a way. I give you a standing ovation. Still hoping you catch a break son.
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A break would be lovely, but I don’t see it coming anytime soon. He was FULLY DRESSED when he got me up before 6am today. All those clothes are usually a bad sign.🤦♀️ But, it will be what it will be.🤷🏼♀️ Daughter goes back to work tonight, so it’s especially important to keep the mood level…💌💌
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Best of luck x
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I told him I wasn’t upset or angry at him….and it worked. Bravo
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Thank you.🤗🥰 I try to take what I’ve learned about autism into account. I really don’t know if he can help some of the things he does. I want him to have the freedom to be his authentic self.
Emotions are a difficult territory with him. I dont know that he recognizes his own, let alone interpreting the emotions of others. I try to be clear and tell him if I’m angry or sad or afraid or happy. Beyond that it get really complicated. Ugh… I’m off on a tangent again…🙄😂
Thanks, again!🌻🦋
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Sounds like a tough day but you handled Ben so well. Fingers crossed the mood is calmer tomorrow. Thank goodness for those beautiful sunsets. 🙂
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One of Daughter’s friends asked me why I watch the sunset… I was kind of surprised and at a loss for words. Why wouldnt I watch it? It’s free, it’s pretty and its relaxing and exciting at the same time. I feel sorry for people who can’t appreciate the beauty that’s all around us. They’re missing out!
I noticed I was grumpy and crabby a few days ago… it happens to us all, but I’m making an effort to not take it out on Ben and Daughter. Ben especially… looks like we’re going to be spends lots more days together since school won’t be reopening anytime soon. When HRH is happy, the rest of the house can relax😉😂💖
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Yes, it certainly helps to be able to appreciate, and make the most of, the beauty around us. 🙂
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Are there any swimming pools open?
Our neighborhood pool has been open with rules about social distancing.
Andrew would swim for hours . He loved being by himself in the pool. We had him on swim team, so he knew how to swim.
It must be hard to manage him when there is no place to go.
Thinking of you
Teri
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I dont know about public pools. We have access to a pool at his Godmother’s house. We took him there to swim last year for his Birthday and he had a major meltdown when we got home. I’m honestly afraid to take him anywhere by myself. I can’t control him if he decides to run away or flip out. I might enlist Younger’s help if she’s still out of work. She has another interview coming up. She’s trying… 🤷🏼♀️❤💌
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Ohh. I get it.
He was probably over tired. I think the pool is a good sensory thing.
Hope it works out
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Yeah, he loves the water! His birthday is Sept 2 so it’s always super hot too. Labor Day Weekend most of the time.
His school actually does swimming lessons as part of their summer program… the first year the pump or something was broken so the pool was closed, the 2nd year he had a few sessions then someone vandalized the pool and it closed, now this year… bad luck!
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What a drag.
I hope you find a way to get him to your friends pool.
Sept 2nd is coming up. Does Ben get excited for birthdays?
Teri
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He likes birthdays… or the idea of birthdays… cake (that he doesnt eat) and presents and singing Happy Birthday. 🤷🏼♀️ It’s difficult to know what he understands and what he doesn’t. 💌💌
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