If you missed the start of this series, you can find it here. A lot of things will be the same or very similar.
While I was taking pictures of actual sunset, Daughter was cleaning up the train tracks from in front of the stove so she could cook Ben’s steak. Ben was, like Saturday evening, restless, yelling, and exhausting. Mother Nature gave our little valley another beautiful sunset
Daughter had planned to give Ben his meds at 5:30pm last night and totally spaced it until 6pm. Not only wasn’t it early, it was actually fifteen minutes late. He was still goofing around and not eating. I started feeding him to get him started. I understand why Daughter doesn’t want to feed him, and she’s correct, we shouldn’t have to. But just because we shouldn’t have to, doesn’t mean we don’t. Autism changes the rules. We have to do what’s best for Ben, not force him to always conform to what society, or what she and I think is the “correct” way to do things.
Anyway, I got him started on eating, then sat behind him to start brushing his hair. I knew it was going to be a problem, but I was prepared. It hadn’t been brushed out and rebraided the past two nights that Daughter worked, and it was tangled around the top hair tie. I got the worst of the tangles out, through much screaming of “just fingers, no brush” and left him to finish the last couple bites of steak, while I ran his bath.
He was yelling “ponytail bath” and “no wash a hair” as I got him undressed and into the tub. He fought me the entire time. He said he was going to pull the plug, so I told him if he pulled the plug, I’d just have to put the shower on. Then after putting the shampoo on his hair, and starting to work it in, he bent over and went face first into the water. I had his hair in my left fist, so he was pulling his own hair. I had to use more shampoo, and he went face first into the water again, forcefully enough to bump his chin AND pull his hair. I got the shampoo rinsed and was doing the conditioner as he was trying to stick his legs out of the tub, getting me wet. I just kept wrassling the dang octopus. After getting the conditioner rinsed out, I brushed through the rest of the tangles, put the ponytail and braid in and left him to play. He’d been screaming at me, and fighting the entire time… I seriously felt like I’d had a strenuous workout.
He played for a while, then Daughter went to use the bathroom and he decided to get out. Smart! She was getting him dressed and he was saying “no bus, stay home” over and over. She finally had him dressed and covered up and the door was closed. He actually went to sleep pretty quickly. I think all the screaming and fighting wore him out too.
I did all the usual Things and Stuff. I ate and took my pills and was ready to sleep, but sleep wasn’t coming to claim me. I was still awake a 1:30am and not very happy about it. Daughter had gone to sleep around 8pm and woke up around 12:30am. I think I finally fell asleep around 2am.
I woke up around 5:45am. The bit of sky I could see from my bedroom window was grey and overcast, no reason to get up. I heard Daughter let Zeus out of Bens room and felt the bedquake and earsniffing around 6am. I got up at 6:15 to start the kettle and use the baño before we had to wake Ben up, because of course he slept in. Of course he did!
He was a lot calmer this morning and didn’t fight. Daughter took him out to wait for the bus and I periodically looked for Georgie and Gracie… No visit today. I talked to a crow for a couple minutes and went to see if my new grasshopper friend was still hanging out. It moved to a different branch, but same area. I discovered that it only has one back leg. I guess it won’t be hopping anywhere. It must’ve had a narrow escape from a predator. I told it that it was welcome in my pecan tree. (I keep referring to it as MY tree, but it’s not mine. It’s a wild tree. I don’t water or feed it, or trim very many branches. I guess I claim it as MINE because I love it.)
Around 10:15am, I uncovered Mr Grumpy. I got him fresh greens, and put the berries and worms on top. He just laid there. One of the worms was making a Great Escape. I had loosely put the greens in the dish as I was picking stems off and transferring the new bag into a container, so they were piled above the lip of the dish. Anyway, I caught the runaway (wrigglaway?) and put it back, patting the greens down a little too. Sven continued to just lay there as I paparazzi’d and the worms burrowed under. I decided to put him in the shower. He stayed in the shower until noon, then back to the terrarium he went. He still didn’t eat. And I swear, in the last picture his has that Are you still here? look. I just left him alone and got Horizontal.
I only had about ninety minutes of Ben-free time left. I figured I better get to my WP Reader and work on my own post. We never know how he’s going to be when he comes home from school.
Ben was scanned onto the bus at 1:27pm. The report from school was that he had a good day. He got home at 1:55pm and seemed to be in a decent mood. He had his meds at 2:30, on time and was watching Walking Dead with Daughter on her laptop. He asked for her phone and she let him have it. Everything was okay until he called 911. Daughter spoke to the 911 dispatcher and let them know that everything was okay. Then she took her phone away so he couldn’t call 911 again. He flipped out… MELTDOWN!
He went straight to the gate and started moving all the stuff blocking it. I was watching from my bedroom window, but Daughter went out to him and he fought against her. She brought him into the house and restrained him after he hit her, kicked her and hit Zeus and kicked him. This started around 3pm. At 3:45 we brought him back in the house for the 3rd session of restraint. She told him “no more outside”. He agreed and she let him up.
He went straight for the door. She sat in front of it. He wandered around the living room, scripting the Gene Wilder “angry scene” from the end of Willy Wonka. But he didn’t go after the front door… he was trying to calm down.
He got the thermometer from the medicine box. He has this idea that things are “all better” after taking temperature. He used it on his forehead, then went to use it on Daughter. He wanted everything to be over. He wanted to go outside.
Daughter helped him get the thermometer to actually work, let him take her temperature and “pinky promised” with him that he could go outside if he left the gate alone. He went to it once, he HAD to, then went to the wall. He was standing on the deck, doing the “conductor” from Fantasia. I went to look at the sky and take a couple pictures and he wanted me to take pictures of him from behind. I did, and showed him. We had a tentative peace.
Hopefully the peace will last and the rest of the night will be okay. He’s with Daughter in the living room doing Arts and Crafts. Dinner bath and bed to follow.
One of Ben’s favorite songs from Fantasia
A weird night, a lazy morning… Happy Dancing as the GLYSB pulled away, a calm homecoming then BAM! Meltdown… an hour or so later, a thermometer and things are “all better”… only at Casa Cuckoo. We’re planning on cooking the Turkey tomorrow since both daughters are off work. It’s another GLYSB day, so more Happy Dancing. Come eat Turkey with us. It will just be Younger and Partner, and the three of us… and you. Hopefully there won’t be any mishaps or food fights. And hopefully we can manage to cook everything without a working oven. ¡Hasta mañana!