Part 249 ~ The Adventures of King Ben & Zeus the Big Dumb Dog

If you missed the start of this series, you can find it here. A lot of things will be the same or very similar.

While I was taking pictures of actual sunset, Daughter was cleaning up the train tracks from in front of the stove so she could cook Ben’s steak. Ben was, like Saturday evening, restless, yelling, and exhausting. Mother Nature gave our little valley another beautiful sunset

Daughter had planned to give Ben his meds at 5:30pm last night and totally spaced it until 6pm. Not only wasn’t it early, it was actually fifteen minutes late. He was still goofing around and not eating. I started feeding him to get him started. I understand why Daughter doesn’t want to feed him, and she’s correct, we shouldn’t have to. But just because we shouldn’t have to, doesn’t mean we don’t. Autism changes the rules. We have to do what’s best for Ben, not force him to always conform to what society, or what she and I think is the “correct” way to do things.

Anyway, I got him started on eating, then sat behind him to start brushing his hair. I knew it was going to be a problem, but I was prepared. It hadn’t been brushed out and rebraided the past two nights that Daughter worked, and it was tangled around the top hair tie. I got the worst of the tangles out, through much screaming of “just fingers, no brush” and left him to finish the last couple bites of steak, while I ran his bath.

He was yelling “ponytail bath” and “no wash a hair” as I got him undressed and into the tub. He fought me the entire time. He said he was going to pull the plug, so I told him if he pulled the plug, I’d just have to put the shower on. Then after putting the shampoo on his hair, and starting to work it in, he bent over and went face first into the water. I had his hair in my left fist, so he was pulling his own hair. I had to use more shampoo, and he went face first into the water again, forcefully enough to bump his chin AND pull his hair. I got the shampoo rinsed and was doing the conditioner as he was trying to stick his legs out of the tub, getting me wet. I just kept wrassling the dang octopus. After getting the conditioner rinsed out, I brushed through the rest of the tangles, put the ponytail and braid in and left him to play. He’d been screaming at me, and fighting the entire time… I seriously felt like I’d had a strenuous workout.

He played for a while, then Daughter went to use the bathroom and he decided to get out. Smart! She was getting him dressed and he was saying “no bus, stay home” over and over. She finally had him dressed and covered up and the door was closed. He actually went to sleep pretty quickly. I think all the screaming and fighting wore him out too.

I did all the usual Things and Stuff. I ate and took my pills and was ready to sleep, but sleep wasn’t coming to claim me. I was still awake a 1:30am and not very happy about it. Daughter had gone to sleep around 8pm and woke up around 12:30am. I think I finally fell asleep around 2am.

I woke up around 5:45am. The bit of sky I could see from my bedroom window was grey and overcast, no reason to get up. I heard Daughter let Zeus out of Bens room and felt the bedquake and earsniffing around 6am. I got up at 6:15 to start the kettle and use the baño before we had to wake Ben up, because of course he slept in. Of course he did!

He was a lot calmer this morning and didn’t fight. Daughter took him out to wait for the bus and I periodically looked for Georgie and Gracie… No visit today. I talked to a crow for a couple minutes and went to see if my new grasshopper friend was still hanging out. It moved to a different branch, but same area. I discovered that it only has one back leg. I guess it won’t be hopping anywhere. It must’ve had a narrow escape from a predator. I told it that it was welcome in my pecan tree. (I keep referring to it as MY tree, but it’s not mine. It’s a wild tree. I don’t water or feed it, or trim very many branches. I guess I claim it as MINE because I love it.)

Around 10:15am, I uncovered Mr Grumpy. I got him fresh greens, and put the berries and worms on top. He just laid there. One of the worms was making a Great Escape. I had loosely put the greens in the dish as I was picking stems off and transferring the new bag into a container, so they were piled above the lip of the dish. Anyway, I caught the runaway (wrigglaway?) and put it back, patting the greens down a little too. Sven continued to just lay there as I paparazzi’d and the worms burrowed under. I decided to put him in the shower. He stayed in the shower until noon, then back to the terrarium he went. He still didn’t eat. And I swear, in the last picture his has that Are you still here? look. I just left him alone and got Horizontal.

I only had about ninety minutes of Ben-free time left. I figured I better get to my WP Reader and work on my own post. We never know how he’s going to be when he comes home from school.

Ben was scanned onto the bus at 1:27pm. The report from school was that he had a good day. He got home at 1:55pm and seemed to be in a decent mood. He had his meds at 2:30, on time and was watching Walking Dead with Daughter on her laptop. He asked for her phone and she let him have it. Everything was okay until he called 911. Daughter spoke to the 911 dispatcher and let them know that everything was okay. Then she took her phone away so he couldn’t call 911 again. He flipped out… MELTDOWN!

He went straight to the gate and started moving all the stuff blocking it. I was watching from my bedroom window, but Daughter went out to him and he fought against her. She brought him into the house and restrained him after he hit her, kicked her and hit Zeus and kicked him. This started around 3pm. At 3:45 we brought him back in the house for the 3rd session of restraint. She told him “no more outside”. He agreed and she let him up.

He went straight for the door. She sat in front of it. He wandered around the living room, scripting the Gene Wilder “angry scene” from the end of Willy Wonka. But he didn’t go after the front door… he was trying to calm down.

He got the thermometer from the medicine box. He has this idea that things are “all better” after taking temperature. He used it on his forehead, then went to use it on Daughter. He wanted everything to be over. He wanted to go outside.

Daughter helped him get the thermometer to actually work, let him take her temperature and “pinky promised” with him that he could go outside if he left the gate alone. He went to it once, he HAD to, then went to the wall. He was standing on the deck, doing the “conductor” from Fantasia. I went to look at the sky and take a couple pictures and he wanted me to take pictures of him from behind. I did, and showed him. We had a tentative peace.

Hopefully the peace will last and the rest of the night will be okay. He’s with Daughter in the living room doing Arts and Crafts. Dinner bath and bed to follow.

One of Ben’s favorite songs from Fantasia

Waltz Of The Flowers – Tchaikovsky

A weird night, a lazy morning… Happy Dancing as the GLYSB pulled away, a calm homecoming then BAM! Meltdown… an hour or so later, a thermometer and things are “all better”… only at Casa Cuckoo. We’re planning on cooking the Turkey tomorrow since both daughters are off work. It’s another GLYSB day, so more Happy Dancing. Come eat Turkey with us. It will just be Younger and Partner, and the three of us… and you. Hopefully there won’t be any mishaps or food fights. And hopefully we can manage to cook everything without a working oven. ¡Hasta mañana!

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HUGS!

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22 thoughts on “Part 249 ~ The Adventures of King Ben & Zeus the Big Dumb Dog

  1. All days couldn’t be tantrum free but this one came at an opportune time. He had done the school day and you both were home. I hope he stays calm and the rest of the day/ night goes well too. Hugs and love.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah… sometimes the pressure just builds too much for him. It’s been a while since he had a Meltdown… here at home anyway. He had one at school a few weeks back. It’s part of Autism. He can’t help it. And he’s doing SOOO much better at trying to regulate himself, and communicate. Meltdowns were daily when he was little.
      After it was done, it was done. The pressure was released and we moved on. We let him know that it was okay, and we loved him and we weren’t angry or upset…

      The myth of autistic people having no empathy or emotions needs to be dispelled. Every autistic person I’ve known feels emotions very deeply… too deeply for comfort, I think.

      Enjoy your DAY!! I hope your family & friends spoil you!🤗🥰💕

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Turkey Tuesday, and Wednesday, and Thursday and “oh my gosh isnt the turkey gone yet?😂😂😂😂 it’s all cuz Older loves Turkey. Younger is a vegetarian 😂😂😂
      They both love the cheesy taters.

      I just don’t cook often anymore. I got burnt out when the girls were teens and they each had a pickiness, as did the ex. I wound up being a short order cook, then no one would eat🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

      I like the whole nutcracker suite! It’s beautiful!🎶💃🏼🌷🌻🌸⚘🦋💫✨💖🥰💕

      Liked by 1 person

    1. We used to put Fantasia on when he was an infant and whenever that song came on, his little legs would just kick, kick, kick… he was dancing along😍
      Zeus and the cats will be eating good the next few days! Younger is a Vegetarian, so she’ll only eat taters and green bean casserole 😂 and I like turkey, but do without it. It’s once a year. We do ham for Santa Day.
      Every day is “Thanksgiving” at Casa Cuckoo. We’re just eating fancy tomorrow 😘

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep! Meltdowns are no fun. Things should be good for a little while now. Usually the Meltdown releases all the pent up whatever. I’m not surprised… he had a rough-ish weekend. He was stressing on something or the weird weather was getting to him…🤷🏼‍♀️ should be mellow tomorrow. We’ll eat early, make a pizza for Ben😂😂😂 he wont eat any of the “Thanksgiving” stuff.
      I wish Older would just let us skip it, honestly. Oh well…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m impressed with how you take things as they come Angie. I’m with you on the eating thing. Somehow my guys always needed me to help them get started. I can see you breathing and staying calm all the while you are dealing with an 🐙 octopus in the 🛁 tub. When GJ would get really upset my mom would make it worse by blocking/getting in his way. I needed to be in such good shape to be ready to take a very long walk or run with him for as long as he needed cause closed doors sent him over the edge. I can’t seem to find that patience for my neurotypical family.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think we have to learn patience with these guys. Daughter told me last night after his bath that there’s no way she’d have been patient with him like that. I lose it… quite often actually. The Huffing & Puffing … but I do try harder to keep calm with him because he doesn’t mean to be a pain ALL the time. Sometimes he’s a bratty kid, but sometimes his ADHD or Autism just make him stuck, and he can’t help it. Plus, losing my cool for real, just sets him off worse. Like him & Daughter. It’s better to just breathe, count to ten, count to ten again (and again, and again😂) and stay calm. It’s better for him AND for me. Meltdowns are awful. We all usually wind up with bruises, scratches, hurt feelings definitely… We HATE restraining him, but we can’t let him run off… we live on a 5 lane busy street, it’s about keeping him safe. When he runs off to the backyard, we just let him. It’s when he tries to break down the gate that we stop him.🤗😍🥰💕

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Very pretty photos Angie.
    It is your respite hanging out looking at sunrise and sunset. Good for you.

    It’s fascinating how these kids relate everything to movies they’ve watched. Still to this day Andrew is rule based. He doesn’t watch TV anymore, but has plenty of screen time playing computer games and watching YouTube.

    I’ve been busy baking bread, gardening, cooking, sewing baby blankets, taking care of my baby chicks, and cleaning out my Mother in law’s place. Whew!

    Andrew offered to help cook on Thursday. What he doesn’t realize is that much of the meal is prepared the day and night before.

    We still have Mr Rat in our wall too. Ugh. We’ve had 4 companies come out to investigate plus vector control who was here for 4 hours last week. Ken is told to think like a rat 🐀. So all of Sunday, he devised all sorts of traps to catch the bugger. They could take up to 20 days to finally take the bait. We even have cameras set up all over our property to watch their activity. It’s quite the project.

    Here’s hoping you have a wonderful day tomorrow with your family .

    Teri

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Teri. I was just thinking about you. I was hoping there hadn’t been any more bad news. Sounds like you’ve been super busy. That’s good. Garden, baby chicks, baking… things that are life affirming and give you joy. Good, good, good!
      But, ugh… clearing out someone’s house. So tough. I remember helping my mother when my grandmother died.
      There was major drama associated with that too, so I save it for another time… like never😂
      Enjoy your Thanksgiving and good luck with the rat. They are sometimes in our walls too. I look at the Cats and the Dog, and I think they should earn their kibble 😘 my older cat, Sophie, used to catch mice 💃🏿when we had a problem with them, but she’s 11 now. Not old, old… but not young either.🤗🥰💕🦋💫✨

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for your kind words Angie. If that darn rat would stop sharpening his teeth on the wood right next to our heads at 1:30 in the morning, we would rest more easily.
        One of these days…
        Happy Turkey Day.

        Teri

        Liked by 1 person

  4. How your daughter feels about feeding Ben is how I feel having to bathe and dress Declan. Down to the shoes and socks. I just wish he could do these things on his own, and he should be able to at 9, but hey, the rules are different and I can work clothes and shoes on him if I still need to. That stinks about the meltdown. Daughter sounds like she handled it well, so that is a plus! And it is Thanksgiving day for you! How special! I hope you guys have the best Thanksgiving day ever today! Enjoy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, dressing is something we do with Ben still too. He’s 12! He can dress himself, mostly. He still gets stuff backwards, he has trouble with buttons, but if he wants to wear something, he’ll do it. I’ve seen him put on the Full Outfit of shirt, vest, tie, jacket, pants, socks & shoes.
      We save our limited patience for other battles.
      The Turkey and Cheesy Taters are cooking right now. Daughter wants to have everything ready around 3 or 4pm. I have no idea if Younger is going to come by😂😂😂 it may just be the 3 of us with Ben eating pizza. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t bother, but Daughter likes to mark the Holidays and she was robbed of Halloween, so I didn’t even fuss or grumble about it this year.😘
      I hope you’re enjoying your GLYSB time.💃🏼💕

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I think I’ve mentioned before that Partner is not a huge fan of turkey, even though I am, so Thanksgiving is not a big holiday for us unless we happen to be joining a family get-together somewhere. (And we’re not, this year.) Still, we hit a couple of grocery stores this past Monday and we both picked out several things we like, so we’ll be making special treats throughout the week and having little mini-feasts instead of one specific blow-out meal…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s the smart way to do it. We have tons of food that we’ll have to eat before it goes bad. But we only do a Turkey once a year… so🤷🏼‍♀️ we do ham for easter and Christmas. For basically just me & Daughter cuz Younger is a vegetarian. I should start looking for a small ham now. Everyone has probably got the same idea since we’re in lockdown, and on curfew

      Liked by 1 person

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