If you missed the start of this series, you can find it here. A lot of things will be the same or very similar.
I decided to go outside and look at the sunset. It stayed very mellow, no phase two big color show…
… which was perfectly okay with me. Ben and Zeus were outside with me and they were both full of energy, so I’m glad the sunset was chill.
Dinner, meds and bath for Ben were mostly problem free. The Boys were kissed Goodnight around 7pm and they were quiet after. Very nice!
All the usual blahditty blah blah blah…
The pre-6am wakeup was Door Kicking again. I came stumbling out of my room and Daughter came stomping down the hall yelling for Ben to stop, yelling for me to go back to my room, just yelling. Chaos at Casa Cuckoo before sunrise… swell.
I let Zeus out, then followed him to look at the sky… No, Thanks!
I went back inside and hid in my room. At 6:30am I ventured out, hoping Daughter was done yelling. I made it to the baño safely. When I came out I told Daughter that I’d do Couch Sittin Duty. She said she hadn’t slept all night, but she was awake and she wanted to sleep tonight, so she’d stay up and watch Gone With The Wind, then sleep a couple hours. I didn’t argue, just got my coffee and went back to my room. I got under my blankets cuz it was cold and tried to decide whether to stay up or go back to sleep. While I was deciding my body hit the OFF switch and I dozed.
At some point Ben woke me to ask for more chalk. I told him I ordered two big boxes to come in the mail but I didn’t know when they would come. He got under the blankets with me and I dozed. Next time I was fully awake was just before 10am. There were several blanket-tugging, mini-wakes but those don’t really count. Anyway, Ben was also awake and he departed. I waited a few minutes, listening… then went out to talk to Daughter.
Her movie was almost over, so I got my stuff to take over Couch Sittin Duty. She wouldn’t go to her room until the movie was over, so stubborn, around 10:30. I asked her if she wanted me to get her up if she had an “alarm failure” since she’d gone on and on about sleeping tonight. She said YES. Three times I verified, 2:30pm wake up. YES! Alrighty then.
Another intensive but not very interesting late morning and early afternoon followed. I held onto the idea that his Adderall would be filled soon. It was Monday, the start of the business week, the Holidays were over. Anytime now we would be able to properly medicate Ben and he would be able to settle down a little bit. I had to give him the last two boxes of chalk and still he yammered on about more.
I heard Daughter making noise at 2:30pm and figured she’d be out pretty soon. At 2:50pm I went to check on her and she was Passed TF Out! I woke her, per agreement, but she was incoherent and Ben was SpazmaTaz, having just taken his afternoon meds, so I left her. I tried again at 3:30pm and she got huffy. I told her she could stay in bed, I honestly didn’t care.
She was the one who made a big deal about sleeping tonight. I just walked out of her room. It’s so ridiculous that we’re still playing this stupid fucking game. She’s gonna be thirty-two years old this month, she’s a nurse fer cryin out loud, but she can’t get her ass out of bed or send a damn text when she wants to sleep longer?!
Sorry. Sorry. I’m done. Done bitching about it and done playing games. So… Ben and I continued doing the same old song and dance*. He told me he wanted chalk, a small box of chalk, and I told him I didn’t have any more, I’d given him the last two boxes.
Daughter got up at 4pm. Ben was still yammering about a small box of chalk. There must be a specific color that comes in the small box that he wanted. So very frustrating when communication problems cause, well… frustration. I needed to get his meds anyway, since they were ready, per Daughter, so I “got dressed, I went to the store…” yeah, you know the rest.
I got home just before 5pm and started taking pictures. We’ll save those for tomorrow. Daughter is cooking Ben’s white chicken and I’m ready to call it a day. If only…
* Because the song started playing in my head as I typed.
No two days are ever alike here at the Casa. I’m very much hoping that a fully medicated Ben will be a less intense Ben. He is absolutely exhausting. I am very grateful that he’s been in a good mood during the ADHD thing. It has reminded me that the ADHD has always been the reason we sought medication. He wasn’t sleeping as a toddler, he never stopped moving. It hasn’t gotten any better over time or different meds, except after his doctor gave him Adderall. I can’t even imagine how it feels inside his head or body. Anyway, come on by tomorrow. Hopefully it will be a dull, Meh day. The kind we like, right?! ¡Hasta mañana!
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HUGS!
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King Ben's Grandma 
Ugh. Why can’t you and daughter do couch sitting at the same time if she’s watching something? Seems less frustrating than waiting for her to leave the room…
Anyway. Hope tonight goes well 💖
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What would be ideal is if Ben would play on his own without one of us having to be in the room with him.🤦🏼♀️ He perfectly fine being alone when he’s up to no good.
He plays in the dirt hole without one of us. But for whatever reason, he does not like being alone in the living room. 🤷🏼♀️
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This is not only exhausting but frustrating too that you have to have unnecessary stress from 2 fronts. But it’s like and people aren’t always rational or logical
I hope things are better tonight. Lots of warm hugs 🤗 and love 💗
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Thank you, Sadje. I’m hoping that things will calm down more. I got Ben’s meds this afternoon so he should have his full level Tuesday. Daughter is off work and hopefully wont be so stubborn about her sleep. I talked to her about it tonight, I will NOT deal with it anymore.
Anyway… I hope your Tuesday is going well and you’re not having any Daughter-Drama🤪😂💕
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Thankfully no drama yet! But you never know when it will suddenly happen! Thanks Angie. All the best. A talk is good. At least it will all be on the table
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From my own perspective, I’m glad that you vented in this post, if only a wee bit. It has GOT to be overwhelming, all the messes you’re dealing with, coming at you from all angles. It’s healthy to type away and release your feelings. I know you prefer the zen and the peace, and I do, too, but it ain’t always gonna happen. Get it out of your system and let me be a shock absorber in my tiny, virtual, distant way. I’m happy to do so, and I’m still gonna hug you at the end of the day, cuz we tight and nobody puts Angie in a chalk-dusted corner… 😉
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Thanks Brian! I love the Dirty Dancing reference 💃🏼 My blog, how I write, is all me. I tend to use the same language in both. I really do use dang more than damn, mostly from seeing “Cars” too many times and Mater (voiced by Larry the Cable Guy). But sometimes the old swears are more appropriate.
And once I’ve written something, it generally stays. I only edit for typos and clarity.
Yes, I prefer to “huff and puff” to gradually blow off steam before it builds up, but I am human and I do get pissed off. (Tis better to be pissed off than pissed ON) and I rant, vent, have a B.F., whine, moan complain…etc.
Generally they are short episodes because being angry just feels icky. Not in a psychological way, but physically. The adrenaline dump makes my tummy hurt☹
And for the record, I’ll always accept a hug! As soon as it’s safe to do so, we should hug everyone. Even that one smelly guy.🤗
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“Chalk dusted corner” Such great writing!
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I agree! Brian has a way with words.😄
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I agree. Let it out. That has got to be annoying. I hate when yell-bot comes to town in my house, especially when I am coming from a good place and ready to step up. Ugh. My fingers are crossed that medicated Ben is feeling better today, and daughter is just generally feeling better today. Thinking of you!
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Ben took his first extended release Adderall at 6:35am, so fingers crossed indeed!🤞 Daughter went lights out around 10pm and got up after I did, around 5:30am. Hopefully that’s enough sleep.
Good luck to you with the dreaded “Z” word.🤞🤞🤞 We are avoiding it completely. Everyone agreed during the marathon IEP that it doesn’t work for Ben.
Sending hugs and Zen your way!🤗🥰🌊🦄💕
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Hi Angie
We are ALL dealing with uncomfortable times these days. I can’t even start writing back to you without my husband walking in the room. Ugh. He is working from home. Not easy for him either. But I’m getting tired. And we get along great. There is no privacy when you want it. Period.
My boys get on my nerves also. Saw Curtis the other day walking his dog on the way back from my Mom’s house. Yes. We all live in the same town. I stopped , parked and walked a little bit with him and Hank. It was nice to catch up a little. He is feeling better these days and trying to take better care of his health. Even his friends are bugging him about not eating meat. He loves fast food. He is over weight and hasn’t been to the gym in months. I’m happy he is doing better, although still unemployed. It’s been a year. He claimed he wanted to come by Sunday night and have Ken work on his resume. Never called or showed up.
Andrew played the same game. He texted Sat, he would come over and make tiramisu with me at 11:00AM Sunday. We waited. No calls. No Andrew. At 2PM, I texted him “You obviously aren’t coming, so dad and I are going on a bike ride.” No reply. Ugh.
I’m letting go of the little stuff between us, cause they are adult men. I don’t have control over them anymore. They are going to live their lives and we will be in them when they say we can be in them. YOur story is a bit different. You have been an angel helping your daughter raise Ben. It comes with ups and downs. Its HARD raising kids with Autism and ADHD. Curtis can’t sit still. His legs shake. the brain is so weird.
Hoping you have a great day. I love hearing you get to go back to sleep. Sleep is so important and I need A LOT of it.
Hugs
Teri
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The situation with Older Daughter is different/odd. It’s a weird relationship for both of us, but mostly it works.
Ben is doing much better today (Tuesday) with his full medication. And Daughter slept last night, so she seems to be in a better mood.
It’s hard to stop worrying about our kids, even when they’re grown. I’m very lucky that both daughters are in contact with me. Older obviously, but Younger texts pretty much every day.
It’s time for you and Ken to have fun, without having to worry about the kids! Once it’s safe to do stuff again 🙄😖
💕💕
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Life is good. Can’t complain
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That’s tough for you Angie. Hope Ben is feeling better. Thinking if you x
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He had an okay morning, but he’s bored I think and doesn’t know what to do with himself. The medication was picked up Monday evening, so he’s had his full doses so far. 🤷🏼♀️ You know how it is… just get through each day as best we can.💌💌💌
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Still intense! I hope the meds sort it out for Ben. I find my 23 year old daughter turns into a little child when she’s back home from university – yet I know she’s completely independent and looks after herself really well when she’s living away. Maybe it’s the same for your oldest – brilliant and responsible at work but reverts once home because she has Mum there! 🙂
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That’s exactly right. She just figures I’ll handle it. But at the same time, she wants all the rights of an equal, a roommate. I’m surprised actually that we do as well as we do. Except for 6 months when she was 18, she’s always lived with me.
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