If you missed the start of this series, you can find it here. A lot of things will be the same or very similar.
As soon as I got home and presented HRH with the “small box” of chalk he absolutely HAD to have, and put the food away, I went and took pictures of sunset.
The rest of the evening was normal stuff… the Food Coma took me down while I was giving my stomach a break before I laid down. I woke around 1am, took my meds and slept horribly until 5am.
I don’t know why my sleep has been so rotten the past few nights, but I’m already over it! I got up at 5am, hoping to use the bathroom in peace. Ben and Zeus gave me five whole minutes before they were at the door. Another Casa Cuckoo morning… at least there was no door kicking. That’s good, right?!
Daughter came out at 5:30 to begin Couch Sittin Duty. I happily let her. I got my freshly brewed coffee from the Dragon and let Zeus out and followed. No Venus to see because it was cloudy. I went back inside and got Horizontal. Ben was hyped up like he always is first thing in the morning but it wasn’t too bad. At 6:30 we gave him his morning meds, including a full strength Extended Release Adderall. Then we waited to see if the extended release was gonna work for him.
I went to look at the sky again around 7am. That’s usually when all the birds start moving around, either doing a flyby or stopping to chat for a while. It was weirdly quiet and mist shrouded. I looked, I clicked, I went back inside.
Ben was calming down and the morning was going well. Daughter and I had hope that today would be a good day. I was a little curious and concerned about the usual 9:30am SpazmaTaz that goes until 11:00 or 11:30, after he takes his 10:30am med. So we waited and watched. Nothing else really to do.
The 9:30 SpazmaTaz came on schedule and the 10:30 med was given. At noon we were still having issues. He had put on the white button down shirt, the tie, the vest, the jacket and the hard shoes around 10am. He also began asking for chalk again around the same time.
He went outside and started busting the wall. I went and stopped him. It was jovial and kind and everyone was still in a good mood. But as 11:30 became noon, and then 12:30 and we were still having to pull him away from the wall, our tempers were getting shorter. Especially mine because he kept kicking me in the shins with those hard shoes.
It’s like he wants us to push him into meltdown. We didn’t want to deal with a meltdown. They are horrible for all of us and I just don’t understand these moods. It’s not sensory overload when he is purposely doing things he knows he shouldn’t. And why does he have to break things? And if he has to break something, why is the plaster or whatever of the wall so much better than a bunch of old chalk? We try to give him alternatives but he seems to get set on doing exactly what he knows is wrong.
We got him to come in again around 12:30 with some french fries and “orange chicken”. Ten minutes later he was telling me “you have to get dressed… you have to go to the store for new chalk”. JIMINEY CRICKET ON A MOTORSCOOTER!! Again with the dag-nabbit chalk.
I told him I would go try to find more chalk. I wasn’t thinking clearly, I was rattled, I was completely done, mentally. Just exhausted by his pacing and intensity and constant asking for chalk and destruction. I had searched a nearby craft store’s website and it said they had chalk in stock.
Masked and jittery, I left and headed that way. I was only able to find three packs of four pieces of chalk. I bought those. (While in line a woman in front of me was wearing a face shield. She lifted the shield, bent at the waist and sneezed all over a display… twice. WTF is wrong with people?)
I drove to two different WallyWorld stores after that, worried that the three four-packs wouldn’t be good enough because they weren’t a “box”. After the second WallyWorld and an hour of time spent, wasted really, I went home prepared for a meltdown.
I was still frazzled, worse than when I left, almost in tears to be honest. I went inside and gave him what I had and told him I looked at three stores and that’s all I could find. He said “Thank you.” and that was that. Daughter said he’d been fine since I left.
I went to lay down, telling Daughter I’d give her a break in a bit. She told me to rest, she was okay. I guess she could tell I’d reached my limit for the time being. Ben sat down and opened the new chalk, added it to the THREE BOXES WORTH he opened yesterday and began to do his thang.
It’s almost sunset time, and I’ve been on Couch Sittin Duty since 3:30pm or so. Daughter took me up on my offer. That couch gets pretty uncomfortable and she needed to charge her laptop. Anyway… nothing left but sunset, meds, dinner, bath and bed for Ben, and the usual Things and Stuff for me. It will be what it will be.
This song was on the radio during my Great Chalk Search and it so totally fit the mood and the situation…
What a day. My Zen slipped a little today. I’m okay, we all have bad day and today was one of mine. Exhaustion is part of it. I really do try to get the sleep I need, but my life is full of interruptions and outside forces. So I plod through and try again. I’ll never stop trying. I’ve been through so much worse than this. The last year with my ex especially, was way worse than this. The three months I spent bedridden in pain was worse than this, my first deconstruction was worse than this. Tomorrow will be what it will be. I’m hoping it will be good, but I’m ready if it’s not. I can do this. With all us supporting each other, WE can all do this!! ¡Hasta mañana!
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HUGS!
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King Ben's Grandma 
Oh my – that sounds like a really REALLY frustrating day. I would have been near tears myself. No sleep, meds not working, being kicked – and wow, she really just lifted everything and sneezed all over?! Gross. (I had to burp in my mask once, thankfully, I was still fasting so it wasn’t awful, but still, I accepted the consequences with my mask still on). It just sounds like an overall “Ugghh!” day and I am sorry you had one of those. I hope things turn around for you tomorrow. And tonight starting with your body letting you sleep. My fingers and toes are so crossed for you!!
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Thanks Robyn. I could not believe she did that. I’m not a germaphobe but if I had to witness stuff like that more often I might turn into one. I get not wanting to sneeze onto the face shield, but crook an elbow… something🤦🏼♀️
My nose started running while I was standing in line at the grocery store and I just pinched my cloth mask over my nostrils🤷🏼♀️ it was that or let it keep running cuz it was NOT staying in my sinuses or nose🙄 I think we’ve ALL had some gross mask experiences by now, but that’s the POINT. The gross stays with the person, NOT everyone else🤦🏼♀️
My mother called me tonight too. 🙄🤦🏼♀️ Just one of those days. Hopefully that’s the end of it. If not, I’m ready… it’s gotten to the “this is so ridiculous I have to laugh” stage, which sucks too, but it’s better than tense muscles and tears.
Gosh I miss the GLYSB!💕🤗🥰
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Aww, I am so sorry that it turned out to be a bad and tiring day my friend. I think the change in medication is partly responsible and maybe it’ll take some time for it to be totally effective.
Sending you warm hugs and love. Take care.
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Thanks for the hugs! Hugs are always nice, even virtual ones!
You’re right, the extended release is new, and he went a few days on 1/3 his normal daily dose, so he may have felt over-medicated today. Or it may have just been a random mood. He’s a kid under his diagnoses and kids (even grown up ones😉) occasionally get into moods or have “off” days🤷🏼♀️ I just hope it’s over. 🤞
🤗🥰🌻🐞🦋💕
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You’re always welcome my friend. I hope whatever mood swing it was settles down quickly. 💗💗💗
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Last night’s sunset was just beautiful! Thank you for sharing it with us. It really was a Jiminy Cricket on a Motorscooter kind of day there! I love that phrase. 🥰 Huge hugs and sweet dreams! 🤗✨💞🎶💃 you got this 😉
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Thank you, Suzanne! I hope tomorrow is better, but if not, I’m ready. It gets to the point where it’s so bad I have to laugh at the ridiculousness. I’m at that point now…
I’m glad you like the pictures. I always enjoy visits to your Magic Woods. It’s nice to see other places… it seems exciting because it’s different.
I found out from another reader that they don’t have hummingbirds in UK.😲 I was shocked. Hummingbirds are so normal to me and you too, I imagine.
I hope you have/had sweet dreams too!🌺🕊🦋💃🏼✨🌙🤗🥰💞
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No hummers in the uk! I had no idea. I would so miss them! 🕊🌺🦋🐛🐝🦄🤗💞
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Yes, ditto on the wonderful pics! I especially enjoy them on work nights when I miss the whole thing myself. Soon, the sun will set on my drive home and that will be lovely…
Sorry about the 💩 day. Hope everyone gets a good night’s sleep 😴 💤💖
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I hope all us insomniacs get some sleep. Sven even woke up for like 10 minutes today. Long enough to glare at me, move half an inch and go back to sleep. 🤷🏼♀️😂😂💗🦋🌺
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I haven’t heard you so upset like this in months. I wish you could get more sleep.
Leave you’re emails, leave your phone OFF, and find a way to sleep.
It’s made a huge difference for me.
I think I’m exhausted from the physical stuff I’m doing to set up the chicken run.
I’m shoveling cedar chips into my truck, shoveling them into the wheel barrow, hauling them up our hill and piling them into the run. I also went on a 2 hour walk today.
Have you tried listening to you tube or a podcast while you sleep? It works forme.
Take care my friend.
Teri
A hill
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I fall asleep okay… staying asleep seems to be the problem and that’s what the meds are for. 🤷🏼♀️ I think its rougher now because of post-holiday stuff, plus Ben’s meds mix-up, plus Younger’s drama, plus Older being grumpy… and on top of it all, we had school two days a week for a few months, and we got used to it. Now it’s gone again and we haven’t gotten back into the lockdown groove.
It’s just been a lot all at the same time. It happens that way, unfortunately. It’s just a bump in the road. Sleep would help, and I did get some extra a couple days ago, but🤷🏼♀️ I’ve had insomnia for over 20 years. I’m used to it now. And sleep problems are part if Fibromyalgia. We have trouble reaching and sustaining the deep, restorative sleep.🤷🏼♀️
And my life has ALWAYS been crazy. Always!
Physical exhaustion is good. Especially when you’re outside in the sunshine and fresh air. I’m sure that’s helping you sleep better too. You’ve had a pretty rough year. I’m glad you’re sleeping and keeping busy. 💞🤗🥰 Big Hugs, Teri. And thanks!😉💗💞💌
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I haven’t heard you so upset like this in months. I wish you could get more sleep.
Leave you’re emails, leave your phone OFF, and find a way to sleep.
It’s made a huge difference for me.
I think I’m exhausted from the physical stuff I’m doing to set up the chicken run.
I’m shoveling cedar chips into my truck, shoveling them into the wheel barrow, hauling them up our hill and piling them into the run. I also went on a 2 hour walk today.
Have you tried listening to you tube or a podcast while you sleep? It works forme.
Take care my friend.
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Oh Angie, big hugs from here in Wales. Roll on when school starts again and you can get some rest. Take care! 🙂
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Thanks!🤗🥰 Yeah… rotten few days. It’s everywhere. ☹
But, today is a new day, and the sunrise was gorgeous, and I got 5 hours of sleep, and I’ll just keep moving forward, cuz like Green Day says “going straight will get you nowhere”🎶😉😂😂💞💌💞💗💃🏼🎶✨
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Ugh, one of those days, eh? Sorry you went through it but, as you say, we’ve been through worse. When I’m having what I think is a suck-fest day, I have to remind myself that I’ve survived much more wretched experiences. It doesn’t make me feel completely better, but it helps…
Now, the mask thing. I’ve babbled about this before, but I actually think I’m more incensed by people who only half-ass wear a mask than those who refuse to wear one at all. The people who refuse are just beyond redemption, in my opinion. You can’t fix stupid. The people who half-ass? With their nose fully exposed and the mask basically hanging off their chin? They obviously KNOW they should be wearing one, but they’re being a butt about it. Grow the hell up.
Sorry, didn’t mean to make this all about me. It just annoys me.
And yes, I’ve had to deal with mucus in my mask. But I do just that, deal with it. I’m not going to make a big production out of things, ripping the mask off and blowing my nose and making folks around me uncomfortable. We’re all on edge and very wary in public (well, some of us, anyway) and there’s no point in making things worse just because I’m a little uncomfortable. I can give myself a sponge bath later, no biggie… 😉
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Exactly!! I 100% agree with you. The half-assed are the worst. I only forgive it in the small fries.
I got into an elevator with a man pushing a stroller and two pre-school kids. The baby wasn’t masked, but the preschooler were half masked. Under the nose, but at least they were attempting. And this was a WallyWorld 😲
It was kinda weird getting in an elevator. Another “normal” experience that is kinda cringy now. I followed them in, so I was behind them and didn’t touch Anything, but it was still weird.💌
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