Explanations

Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t been around much. I did the Song Lyric Sunday thingy, but no posts with gobs of photos. I have only been reading and commenting here and there and not everywhere. If you haven’t noticed, that’s okay too.

Life at the Casa has been more Cuckoo than usual, but that’s not the only thing. I’m still feeling burnt out. Not creatively dried up, I have plenty of ideas, it’s more that everything seems to require so much effort.

Part of it is Ben’s continuing sleep issues. Or rather, his lack of sleep issues. One night last weekend (I don’t even know which night, I can’t keep the days straight) he was awake ALL night. Mostly he’s staying up until 11pm or 12am, or he goes to sleep by 9pm and gets up at 4am. When Ben doesn’t sleep well, Gramma definitely doesn’t get to sleep.

I also had two different doctor appointments last week. I had my regular monthly Pump Fill but it was an afternoon appointment, and I usually take mornings, so it threw my whole day off. I also had a check-up/physical appointment with my Primary Care Provider. I need to have some routine tests done and we’re waiting for results from the test he did in the office. But generally speaking, I’m healthy and things look good.

My walks have been fewer because of the wonky weather, lack of sleep, and low motivation. The wonky weather has been good for some pretty sunsets though. It even kinda sorta rained a little one evening and I caught a rainbow that lasted about forty-five seconds.

Some pics for those who like pretty sunsets

I also saw a flock of birds that flew across the sky for nearly a full minute. Normally I’d say it had to be my beloved Parrots, but the squawking wasn’t there. I’m not sure if it was Parrots or crows, but I’ve never seen that many crows together. It remains a mystery, but a cool mystery… to me anyway.

video is from pictures, and 45 seconds long

If you get bored and want to see more sunset pictures, or pictures of the plants around my neighborhood from my walks, I generally turn them into videos and upload them to my YouTube.

Daughter took some time off work cuz she’s been on the verge of a full breakdown. The patients have been ruder and more combative, and she’s just burnt out. A lot of people have left Healthcare altogether because of the stress. I’ve suggested counseling, but she’s resistant.

Younger is also having stress issues, but hers are mostly financial. She’s still trying to get caught up from having to move and buy a new car. She makes $17/hour but that is barely enough with the high cost of living in SoCal. I’ve helped her as much as I can. So much in fact, that I’ve depleted my own cushion.

Anyway, the usual life stuff, and the sleep stuff and the stressed out daughters stuff has sent me into my Fortress Of Solitude that’s inside my head. I’m maintaining my Zen, but not feeling very social.

Everyone’s favorite lizard is feeling the same. He’s been hiding in his house a lot and only eating every two or three days. Google Photos reminds me that 1 Year Ago he was doing the same thing. It’s his yearly summer make me worry brumation, although it seems to only be a slow down, and not a full brumation.

Here are some recent pictures for you

And that’s about it. I’m probably going to keep up with the Sunday posts, and I may pop in here and there, but for the next little bit at least, I’m not gonna be doing the WP thang as much.

I hope you are all doing well, and hangin in there. I do think about you all, and I’ll be back to spamming up your comments before you know it. And I can always be reached via email through my contact page.

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HUGS!

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24 thoughts on “Explanations

  1. Lack of good sleep sucks and it’s not because you can’t go to sleep either. I do hope Ben can settle down to a reasonable schedule of sleep. These pictures are amazing. I hope you can feel more rested and energetic too. Hugs my friend

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Sadje.🤗🥰 Yeah, we all know I can fall asleep anywhere and at anytime 🤣🤣🤣
      We’ve talked to his med doctor about his sleep and we found out he was sleeping at school. His teacher was informed to STOP letting him do that🤦🏼‍♀️ but that was weeks ago and it hasn’t improved.

      His doctor doesn’t want to change anything about his meds, and he’s “maxed” on what he takes. She goes by pediatric standards though, and Ben may be nearly 13, but he’s “adult” size.

      Sleep had been an issue with him since he was a toddler and didn’t nap. He started taking clonidine when he was 3 years old.😲🤷🏼‍♀️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s tough on you and you need sleep too. I’d suggest sleeping when he is in school. A couple of hours of restful sleep can make a huge difference. Take care my dear

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry you and your main man aren’t sleeping well either. Sucky for sure!
      I try not to sleep while Ben is at school cuz then I’m up late, but sometimes the OFF switch goes.

      Ben will be off school the last 3 weeks of August and I’m gonna try to get his sleep schedule back on track. His new teacher was letting him sleep at school, and we told her to knock it off! She doesn’t communicate with us the way his other teacher did, so who knows🤷🏼‍♀️

      Thanks for the email invite, and back at ya😍

      Liked by 1 person

  2. That lack of sleep really stinks. Is Ben back in school? It would be nice for you to have some YOU time since that time during the night is gone.
    I feel older’s pain with the frustration. That is why I left mental health. The pay was terrible, every month you earned only half a day off, and it was hard, thankless work. Even now as I contemplate what my next step might be, I have very little inclination to lean on my master’s degree in that field. I’d rather stock shelves somewhere and earn the same amount of money.
    Loved seeing my favorite lizard! 🙂 Hope you get some sleep soon too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ben is still in Summer School. He will be off the last 3 weeks of August, so yes… very glad to have a few hours to myself. When I don’t have errands, or doctor appointments 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

      Daughter has seriously been thinking about leaving nursing altogether. The kinds of things she’s good at, and would have satisfaction doing, all involve dealing with people though. It’s the rudeness of the people and the whole American “do more, for less, and smile” work ethos too. It’s everywhere, so she might as well stay where she is.

      I hope you’re finding a few minutes of Robyn time here and there🤞 Do your kids go back after Labor Day or is their school on a different schedule?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. They go back on the 30th – the week before Labor Day. They keep pushing back when Bob can actually go back into his office. I think he will be allowed back for a few days in October. It’ll be nice to have everyone back on our regular track after so long!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. The world is in a very strange place now and i think we’re ALL feeling much the same, which is….argh. Not sleeping is the worst, for sure, but even this will shift at some point- as i tell myself during each fire drill we go through around here! Your pictures are wonderful as always. Sending you XOXOXOXOXOs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! 💕 You’re right. Everyone I talk to seems to be suffering from burnout, Pandemic Fatigue, or similar. The best we can do is keep on keeping on… taking breaks when we can.
      Hugs are gratefully accepted and returned!!💌🤗💌🤗💌🤗💌

      Like

  4. Good to hear from you Angie. Sleep issues are a thing. I get it. I’m sure it’s his meds. But how can he function without them? I struggle with sleep also.

    Started a new nanny job today. It’s only 2 days a week and won’t actually begin until end of August. I’m hoping to get my sleep issues under control by then cause I have to wake at 6 AM to be on time.

    I haven’t felt motivated to write my blog either. Yet, when I get back from an amazing day somewhere I’m always inspired. The goal would be to write that evening. I will work on it.

    Boys have similar challenges. Curtis still ahs his job, but he isn’t happy there. They paid to have him attend a convention in Las Vegas and he had a blast. He came home sooo happy and made a lot of contacts.

    Andrew is getting coaches about jobs from his girlfriends’ dad now. lol. I figured that they would want to help in any way. He may have attended a job fair today with Google at Stanford Hospital. It’s all for people with autism. It took a while to get him to apply, and we still haven’t heard if he attended or not.

    I still take him shopping every week, and he house/dog sits, but he must be running out of money.

    Good to hear from you and I hope all your tests come out positively.

    Thinking of you
    Teri

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    1. A nanny job will be fun for you! It will probably make you glad you don’t have grands yet😂😂

      Sleeping til 6am is my “normal”, that’s after being up til midnight most night, but I’m a chronic insomniac so 6 hours is good for me. I’ve been getting way less and it’s been broken sleep too, which isn’t restful.

      My EKG was good, my lung capacity is good, my BP is good, my cholesterol is a little high but I’m passing on the meds, waiting for my pap smear, and I need to get a mammogram. Fun🙄 My last one was fine and there’s no history of breast cancer in my family. The doctor did the manual exam when he did the pap & pelvic. I’m good… surprisingly 😂

      I hope Andrew went and I hope he got some inspiration. He needs to sort it out. If his autism prevents him from finding & holding a job, he needs to file for disability. Time for some tough love, even though it’s very very hard to do☹

      Sending Hugs!!💌💌💌💌

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m feeling for you Angie. From a person who felt like crap for a whole year, get those blood tests. You never know what simple thing you might be missing. I remember having many sleepless nights like that when my kids were little. It’s brutal and depleting. Please get your daughters to spell you a couple of nights.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The last set of blood work they did all came back normal except for slightly high cholesterol. The doctor says everything looks good. I was surprised! They did a quick EKG and a lung capacity test… all normal.
      My pain doc has started running a screening for vitamins & minerals since opiate meds can leech those, so I’ll have those results next month when I get my pump fill.

      I honestly think if Ben’s doctor would quit being so conservative and give him something to knock him out, we’d ALL be happier.

      Daughter has told me to wake her up if he wakes ridiculously early but he still comes to my room and wakes me up, so it seems pointless. Plus she is a MAJOR grouch when she gets woken up. She always has been.

      I was so tired still at 6am when I got up today that I went back to bed and slept til almost 11am😲 Luckily Ben was at school. Daughter works tonight, Friday and Saturday nights so I’ll be solo for three nights.

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    1. I actually went back to bed Thursday morning after getting up at 6am and being unable to make my eyes focus.
      Daughter was off so she got Ben off to school, and I slept until like 10:30 or 11:00😲 I could’ve slept longer but I made myself stay awake.
      I don’t know how Ben functions when he doesn’t sleep🤪
      💖💕🌻🤗🥰

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  6. Good to hear from you and I love the pretty skies. I can totally understand how you are feeling. Lack of sleep is really hard to live with and has so many effects on your body and mood. As for being unmotivated, I can join you there! I’ve been struggling with that on and off this last year. Covid has had many consequences on us – stress is all too common at the moment and I think people have forgotten how to be social and polite human beings. Life has been strange and normality will take time to regain. Hope you get a chance to rest! 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!💕 I believe we’re going to have to get used to the virus sticking around. Masks are being highly recommended for vaccinated people again. The Delta may not make vaccinated people sick, or AS sick, but they can be infectious. If this virus keeps mutating, we’ll all be back to square one. I really, really hate that it became a political thing in the US.

      We’re all burnt out, and it doesn’t look like the old “normal” will ever return (which I expected) no matter how much people want it to.

      I think the lack of common decency, and politeness was on the downside even before the pandemic. With our former “leader” being such a bully, it gave everyone else permission to act the same.

      Luckily there are still kind, supportive people everywhere, and I’m blessed to virtually “know” quite a few… like yourself!😍

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I haven’t been around much either, which is why I am commenting on this so late. I’ve given up on blogging altogether, although I still have a few ideas, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Perhaps it’s not really my thing. Love the sunset pictures, very nice. I get some good sunsets where I live as well, which I can see from my window. In the winter we can see the most amazing sunsets from the office window.
    Yeah, just wanted to pop and and say hi, because it’s nice to virtually know you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you stopped in! I’ve thought about you often and hoped all was well.

      I’m bummed that you’ve given up on blogging. Maybe the urge will come back? I don’t put a lot of pressure on myself to create “perfect” posts and my topics are all over the place, so no worries about whether it’s appropriate or not😂

      As one of my “Blog Buddies” that I’ve known since the early days, it’s always great to hear from you! I’d love to see your sunset pictures! It’s amazing how good the cameras in phones are. All of my pictures are taken with my phone, and it’s a mid-range android.😲
      💌💌

      Like

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