An Overdue Update

~ King Ben's Grandma

Rather than add this to my Song Lyric Sunday post, I thought I’d write a separate one. Some people don’t care about my crazy life, some people don’t care about the songs, but some people like both… the “both” people get two posts😲

Let’s start this little Catch Up on Thor’sDay, March 10th. I had made plans to have breakfast with my mother. I didn’t really wanna have breakfast with my mother, but it had been months since we’d gotten together and family obligations… yadda yadda yadda🤦🏼‍♀️

She was supposed to pick me up at 7:30am. I was ready, waiting and had texted her to let me know when she arrived. By 7:45am I was wondering if she was gonna flake… part of me hoped she would, not gonna lie. Then I heard a car horn going off in the parking lot outside my window. There was my mother🙄 I grabbed my stuff, told Daughter I was headed out, and went to meet her. She beeped a few more times🙄🙄 When I asked her why she hadn’t just texted me, or called me (shudder) she told me she couldn’t find her phone.

She is losing her memory. She is aware of this and says she has Advanced Directive and Power Of Attorney paperwork, she just hasn’t completed it. I may have to sit down with her and make her complete it, then off to the Notary, etc.

Off we headed to Dennys for breakfast and chatting. She gave me a drawing that I’d wanted since the artist made it for her in 1979, and she gave me a peridot ring my grandmother had gotten for her 16th birthday in 1945.

The breakfast and the conversation concerned me. Her memory has huge holes in it… like forgetting she had surgery on her thyroid and she got “lost” while running errands recently. I want her to get that paperwork done first. Then I want her to discuss this with her doctor. Maybe there’s something they can do to slow down what appears to be Dementia or Alzheimer’s🤷🏼‍♀️ She doesn’t live alone, and our relationship is complicated, otherwise I’d be much more proactive.

After being dropped back at home, I had errands, then Ben got home, and Daughter had work that night… Casa Cuckoo stuff.

FriedDay was the chaos of putting Ben on the GLYSB, then going to pick Daughter up from work. More errands… the usual… until I got a phone call from one of my ex’s brothers. I let it go to voice-mail. Before I could listen to the voice-mail, I got a text saying “please call me as soon as you can” UGH! The voice-mail mail said the same thing… just call me back.

I debated about calling because this brother used to call me when he was drunk and boo hoo for hours. It was tedious. But I was also wondering if something happened to my ex or their mother. I listened to the voice-mail again and it was slightly garbled, but he’d told me he has Parkinson’s when I’d contacted him after my ex sent that 14 page letter a couple years ago.

I called. He was drunk🤦🏼‍♀️ I  talked to him and offered support as long as I could, but Ben was getting upset with me being unavailable and I was getting irritated with the drunk B.S. He asked if he could come out here and I told him no. I know it wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but I don’t want him here. The conversation kinda fell apart after that. Plus, he’d been steadily drinking more the entire hour plus that we’d been talking. GAH!

Daughter got triggered by the random call from that side of the family and spent the next week in Mental Health Crisis. I tried to help her and still keep the Casa running and Ben cared for… It was draining and it was difficult. Daughter is very fond of her wine and it didn’t help with her emotions.

I was often frustrated because it seemed that she was purposely upsetting herself and dwelling on things… like picking a scab to make it bleed, then being upset that it was bleeding. Meanwhile Ben is still Ben and he’s super sensitive to mood changes… and weather changes, which we also had🤦🏼‍♀️, so he was acting out more. It was just a lot, a LOT for me to handle.

Somehow I managed though and things seem to be smoothing out. Ben has Spring Break coming up so I’m not making any plans til the first week of April. I’m just taking each day as it comes, and trying to keep things chill.

That’s my update… it doesn’t read like it was as much as it felt like.🤷🏼‍♀️ How are you guys doing? I admit that I haven’t been reading as often the past few weeks, but I do think about all my Blogging Buddies. Feel free to contact me by email if you wanna chat. I’m in my email several times a day… WP, not so much.

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HUGS!!

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30 thoughts on “An Overdue Update”

  1. Let’s chat by email! But thank you for the update and the pic of Sven. I also find contact from That Side of the family to be triggering but for different reasons. They constantly screw over my daughters with plans & promises that never materialize (kinda like HIM!), and it pisses me off so much. My daughters don’t seem to GAF, so I guess it doesn’t matter. Anyway, that sounds stressful… and I too found that adding alcohol to stress didn’t solve anything. Bleh!

    paula.light@gmail.com ❤️

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  2. Susan suggests that sometime I dwell in the bad just for the sake of dwelling there. Her Buddhist teacher is fond of saying something like “what would happen to you if you didn’t have any crises to worry about?” If someone called me drunk and needed to chat, I’d hang up and tell them to call sober. Thoroughly hypocritical of me, but I have zero patience for anyone acting stupid while drunk.

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    1. Yeah, I was trying to be kind. My ex’s family is whackadoodle, but they’re still family… ish🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s the same reason I had breakfast with my mother. Arms length, or further most of the time but it looms over me🙄

      Between the boo hoo drunk and they angry violent drunk, I prefer the boo hoo… but honestly, I prefer sober! I wish everyone would just use Cannabis instead of alcohol😂

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  3. Personally, I am at my most charming when drunk (my most charming being not all that charming, in truth) and at my most honest (frequently to my regret), also … so people seem to actually enjoy those conversations with me. I just wish that they wouldn’t remind me about them later.

    But listen. I think that I’ve identified a problem. And I should preface this observation by noting that the previous paragraph indicates (correctly) that I have no issues in putting poisons into my body in dangerous quantities. But I do draw the line at certain things ……
    Denny’s for breakfast??? Really???

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  5. Hi, sweetie! Its certainly a lot to be dealing with! I hope you are making some time for yourself in all that. You deserve some “me” time too!
    Big hugs and lots of love!
    ❤ ❤
    I am ok, just getting over having covid, tomorrow I will take an antogen test and hopefully its clear. I’ve been sick for the last 9 days!
    xoxo

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  6. Pingback: #SLS ~ The Wet Stuff – King Ben's Grandma

  7. Boy, you do have your hands full. Sometimes I wish that alcohol just didn’t exist. It definitely doesn’t help anything and seems to cause more problems. I’m sorry about your mom too. Sounds like you are really going to need those papers. I’m thinking of you. If you want to chat just let me know!

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  8. “Taking each day as it comes” is a good advice and is the best we can do. Hopefully, the week will be more calm and peace. 🕊 🌳 🌷 🦜

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  12. I’ve managed to miss lots of your posts – they don’t seem to be coming up on my email at the moment. Sheesh, you’ve been through a lot this last week or so! Sorry to hear about your mom and her memory loss. It’s hard as our parents get older and start to have health issues – that must be compounded by a tricky relationship. You certainly don’t need a visit from ex-brother to top it off! Sorry your daughter has struggled with it all too, and that you were left to pick up the pieces. Hope things settle a bit soon. 🙂💕

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    1. Thank you. 💕 WP is always messing around and “improving” things by breaking things🙄🤦🏼‍♀️ I’ve mostly only been doing the Song Lyric Sunday posts and I actually missed two weeks of that. I haven’t been on WP as much🤷🏼‍♀️ Constant interruptions make it difficult to concentrate, as does lack of sleep☹

      Life does roll on and I keep rolling with it. I’ve accepted that my life will probably never settle. It’s been like this as long as I can remember. I just need to find a better way to manage my time.

      I hope you and your family are doing well🤞 Are you back to singing with your choir now? And how’s the Master’s program going?

      💌💌

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      1. Yes, I’m singing again which is great for my sanity! I’m feeling mixed about my Master’s – some of it I’m enjoying and other parts not so much. In some ways, because of studying, I seem to be doing less creative writing which seems wrong. There’s only so much.my brain can cope with, I suppose! Managing time when you’re busy doing life is a difficult one. 🙂

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  13. Hi Angie
    The ring is beautiful. Sorry about your mom. You have enough to worry about. Do you have siblings? My siblings can’t barely handle their own lives, but it’s nice to have them to talk to occasionally.
    My niece is graduating tomorrow. She is my younger sister’s daughter. She has been doing drugs for some time and has a live in boyfriend that is older. She still lives with my sister and her husband with dementia. That can’t be easy. Anyway, she has suffered with anxiety and depression and has had trouble in school for years. Covid didn’t help. Happy she will be out of school. No. She doesn’t want to pursue college.
    She loves music and would love to be involved with concerts. We will see.

    Just thought I’d finally get back to you and all that you are going through. You are on my mind and I am rooting for you while you ride the Casa Koo Koo train.

    Teri

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    1. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts. I think of you often as well. I’m always happy to read that you’ve been to a great meal, or had a wonderful hike, or rejoined the gym for some quiet, Teri Time!

      Take care of YOU!!
      🤗🥰💌💌💌

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